Walking My Own Path


I am an atypical woman, which is why my friends would call me beautifully unique. What’s so different about me? I’m in my early 30’s and single with no desire to get married or have children. Surprisingly a lot of women have a big problem with this. I’ve been called “unwomanly”, “jaded”, and “broken” but I can promise you that I am none of those things. I just happen to be walking my own path in life.

I’ve not been scared of marriage, I don’t dislike children, and I absolutely hope I find a loving man to share my life with. I’m at an age where friends are now married and have children. According to traditional standards, they are acting appropriately, but I am not and this causes discomfort. Women tend to not understand why I don’t want what they want for me, what I’m “supposed” to want, or what their definition of happiness and stability dictates I have.

My Relationships

In my opinion, there is little in the world as wonderful as his voice or arms after a hard day. I adore the comfort of a committed relationship but haven’t found anyone who seems to want the same things I do. So it’s been my decision to remain single until I can find that man. Why wouldn’t I want to get married when I do find him? I’ve just always envisioned a life filled with love, happiness, and companionship free of the government influence, payments and certificates.

Not needing marriage in my life has actually empowered me. In my relationships, the man doesn’t need to feel pressure to put a ring on my finger to show he loves me. We don’t face the “When will you two get married?” questions that are often uncomfortable, because my family and friends know where I stand. There is no pressure to do more than care for each other and enjoy each other’s company. There is no end “game” in my relationships and for me this is a very freeing and liberating thing.


When it comes to children; I adore them! I’ve always worked in childcare-babysitting, teaching, running a daycare, or being a nanny. People can’t wrap their heads around my loving children but not wanting any. Here’s the deal- I know how difficult raising them is and how thankless it can be. I know my limits on patience and how important time for me and my lover are. Children to do not allow much free time, they require endless time and patience, and those buggers are expensive! I refuse to have a child just because people claim “you’ll feel different when it’s your own kids” because I honestly don’t think I will.

Knowing that I don’t want children allows me to share my love with the kids I work for and nieces but still grants me “me time”, time to write, read, and sleep in! I can pick up at the drop of a hat and travel if I want to. I can do what I want with my time without feeling guilty that I’m not spending it on others. Because of this decision I can live a spontaneous and exciting life with endless possibilities. This, to me, is priceless and something I am not willing to sacrifice.

I am not broken, jaded, or any less of a woman because of these choices. I’m not making these life decisions to gain attention or to rock the boat. I am making these decisions because they are right for me. I am proud of them. I feel incredibly strong for knowing what I want and not caving. I am braver for walking my own path. I am a happier woman for knowing what I want, standing by what I believe in, and for not apologizing for the way I feel. I am in the driver’s seat of my life and I decide where it goes.

Image Credit: Shutterstock


Julie Zantopoulos

Julie Zantopoulos

Julie is Vice President and Editor-in-Chief of The Indie Chicks. She's working on publishing her first book, a collection of short stories, and writing a young adult novel series. Other loves include whiskey, the Flyers, and anything LOTR, Harry Potter, or Young Adult Lit. Don't be shy about following her on Instagram or emailing her to discuss contributing to The Indie Chicks.

  1. Really great post.

    I knew in my 20’s that I was ambivalent about having children. Ambivalence translates into a big fat “no” on the issue. To make the choice to have children, I believe a woman should have such a huge desire. I never experienced that.

    I didn’t get married until my 30’s and I had no problems living alone before that. I, in fact, had a very full life.

    For some reason, other people couldn’t let me be.”When are you getting married?” “Don’t you want children”? “What woman doesn’t want children?”

    It’s why I love you Jewls, YOU WALK YOUR OWN PATH and good for you!

    1. Thanks for getting me, Tovah! I love that you understand that a wishy washy feeling on having kids should probably have you leaning towards NOT having any. At least it does for me. So happy you walked your own path, and still are!

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