I was thinking back on my 2013 recently and realized just how much I had accomplished. I became a business owner, I welcomed new babies into my family with love, my partners and I pulled off the amazing task of publishing a print magazine, and so much more. There was so much positive, so much badassery that I was left in awe. Then it hit me, with all that work I’d seriously ignored a different part of my life. I’d gone the entirety of 2013 without a date, not a single one. 2013 will forever be ‘my year without a date’.
I could sit here and tell you that becoming a business owner and having a crazy goal oriented year kept me from dating. I could explain the complicated and insane process of producing a print magazine and how it barely left time for showering and sleep let alone fostering a relationship. I could tell you all those things but it’s not really an excuse, now is it?
I mentioned to a friend that I’d gone a year without a date and she tried to fight me on it, no doubt to make me feel better.
“You’ve been on dates with friends.” …those don’t count.
“You had a lunch date with a married man.” Again, doesn’t count as that falls into the friend date category as well.
“You had that date with that guy you saw a while back.” Second dates with no possibility of relationship don’t count.
I have gone a year without a date, a first date, with somebody who gave me butterflies. I haven’t preened in a mirror, perfected my makeup, agonized over an outfit, or worried about the end of the date kiss. Not once this year have I done that. The first date process may be anxiety inducing but it’s so much fun. That giddy excitement, the not knowing what the night may hold, the hope that he might be the one…or at least the one for a while.
I have to own my part in this year without a date oversight. I allowed an entire year to go past without even noticing that I hadn’t been on a date. That’s right, I didn’t even notice it. In fact, when I realized that all of 2013 passed without a date I was in shock. How could that have happened, a whole year without a date? The answer is simple, really.
I didn’t make it a priority. I didn’t really care one way or the other if I did, or didn’t date. I had men to talk to, flirtationships, male friends, and attention from men to fuel that flirty side of me. Why would I try to actively date when that takes so much time and energy? I didn’t put myself out there, didn’t attempt online dating, didn’t ask any guys out. But, I also didn’t miss dating, if I had I would have noticed long before December that I’d gone a year without a date. I didn’t date because I was busy building my company and that was more important.