Latest posts by Chiara Mazzucco (see all)
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Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely still a fan of the traditional wink-and-wait. I just personally think it’s a bore - for me. Why wait for life to happen? Wouldn’t you rather know whether or not something’s going to happen, and if it’s not, move on to the next sexy opportunity? Not only does it eliminate the lingering awkwardness of waiting for guys to make a move, but it also empowers the shit out of your inner badass. So, let’s get to hitting, shall we?
The Prep Work Happens at Home
The most important tool to this shebang is confidence. Dance naked and give yourself a pep talk — if you need the extra juevos, pretend to be someone else. Whatever you do, it starts at home. You can’t doubt yourself midway through the encounter, it’ll just throw off your game and make him notice the blonde behind you. And you’re much better than the blonde behind you — YOU DESERVE THIS! Pump yourself up, hot shit.
Get Noticed First
You have two choices: either you pop-up mid-sentence with a “Hi, how are ya?” or you keep the distance to show your feathers; the latter is the easier way to go – leave popping up to the pros. Getting noticed prior to the approach does two things for you: it gives you an idea of whether or not you even have a shot, and when you realize you do, it powers up your self-esteem. Going in blind requires the ability to think on your toes and to be prepared for bombs — i.e. the fucker’s married and his wife is just bending over to tie her shoe. So like I said, leave it for the pros. To get noticed, do a quick walk by and make eye contact (if you can make eye contact from across the room, it’s easier). If it doesn’t work, try again, but if the second try fails, he’s either gay, hitched, or not into your goods. Move on.
The Bold Approach – (You Had Me @ Hello)
Once you’ve gotten an idea of where you stand on his radar, it’s time to move in for the kill. When you walk over, there’s a good chance he’ll be looking at you — this is where you find your inner badass and make it work. Don’t hold the creepster stare the entire walk over. You will either look like a psycho or just overly intense — both of which mean there’s a good chance he’s not into you. Make eye contact, but break it to look down and smile and to look at the waitress you’re about to run into. He knows you’re coming over, don’t worry. That said, don’t keep your eyes on the floor and play the shy part — that’s a whole other piece of the art of flirting that requires its own lesson.
Make it Quick & Make it Count
I know you’re tempted to make up an excuse for walking over, but trust me when I say you don’t need one. What works best? Being upfront. “Hi. I’m ____.” Bam. Short, effective and artfully bullshit-free. If you’re feeling bold you can add humor to the introduction, but be selective with your words. It’s easy to use humor as a crutch, but things can turn deadly when you’re relying on the assumption that your nerves will behave.
Make a compliment or playfully poke fun (but again, use caution — you don’t know anyone’s buttons). Engage but don’t be overbearing.
Checkmate & Walk
This article isn’t titled “Find Your Soul Mate and Talk for Hours About Your Dreams”. You’re hitting, baby, so HIT. This tactic implements the age ol’ game of push and pull; you’re all in the moment then pull out leaving him wanting more. This is where you go all in. Keep eye contact, smile and while nodding, throw out to him, “You should probably take my number.” If you don’t want the encounter to end with a number exchange, and just want the thrill, substitute it with something like, “You’re contagious,” or “We’d be trouble together. Check please. His drink’s on me. Have a good night.” And leave with a smile.
The goal is to make an impression and floor him.
1. Prep yourself with some bad ass confidence. Don’t have any? Borrow some from Jessica Rabbit.
2. Get noticed. Make him whisper ‘Please … Walk over here … Please, please.”
3. Walk over with your balls showing. The non-intimidating, make you run and pee your pants balls.
4. Make it quick & make it count. Do it, don’t abuse it.
5. Get the last word: You make the move, like a bad ass. Either decide the outcome by leaving your number or walk away with style.
Accept Rejection Gracefully
Being bold is going to work most of the time. No amount of bad ass can make a guy want to shag you if he’s just not into it. There’ll be times that a guy says he’s not interested or that he’s already seeing someone. Make one comment and exit with grace. For example, is he seeing someone? Well, she’s a lucky girl indeed. If he says he’s not interested don’t get butt-hurt, better you find out now than in three months when you find him in bed with your sister. And on the off chance he disses you, don’t give in. Don’t say a word, smile and walk away with your head up. Guy’s a loser anyway if he has to diss a chick to make himself feel better.
You know what it’s like to be approached by a guy; you know what works, you know what doesn’t. This post is just a part of the many more to come on the art of flirting. If you’re wondering why it lacks points, it’s because they’re still many articles to come.
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