shitty girlfriend

You’re a Shitty Girlfriend. Period.

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Chiara Mazzucco

CEO, Editor-in-Chief at The Indie Chicks, Inc
Chiara got her start in the blogosphere by dishing out reality slaps on her dating and relationship blog. The brutal honesty that became her signature tone earned her the badass reputation she needed to get The Indie Chicks magazine up and running. She is also a web designer and author of The 9 Mirages of Love. Driven, stubborn, and wildly ambitious, she won’t stop until she is the perfect, self-empowered role model for all of her readers.

Latest posts by Chiara Mazzucco (see all)

You know old, often uncalled for, married man jokes? “Ha! That’s the most play her lady parts have seen in years!” he says as his wife gets jumped on by a puppy. Men every where can’t all be wrong, can they? Well, drying up the river to your genital area isn’t the only reason you’re a shitty girlfriend. Here are the ways you’re telling your dude you suck. Stop being such a buzzkill.

Not the same

Do the dishes and I’ll blow you. Remember all the sex you were having when you first met? You’re like a sleezy salesman; you did everything in your power to sell him the broken merchandise and now that you’ve earned commission, you disconnect your phone. And remember how your legs and mustache were always shaved and you bragged about how down-to-earth you were? What the fuck happened to that chick? Of course we get comfortable in relationships but there’s a difference between comfort and just plain lazy. And does this mean  you have to shag every night of the week? No – that’s not good for your vagina. Just stop acting like sex is currency.. this is a big reason why dudes cheat.

You expect him to do all the work… because he’s the guy

You never bring me flowers anymore! You never compliment me! Wa-waa. Let’s be honest here, when’s the last time you gave him a blow job? And not a quick, I’m doing the grocery list in my head blow job, I’m talkin’ like the first few times together blow jobs. And when’s the last time YOU complimented him? Or brought home his favorite take-out? You’re not a princess and you’re not entitled to royal treatment. Relationships work both ways.

You put him down

I’m sure you’d get a Mexican gang to beat him up if he ever dissed you like you diss him. Stop being so mean and learn the difference between innocent fun and actually being a bully. The lower you beat him down, the more likely he is to build resentment toward you. And know this: a resentful boyfriend is one big pain in the ass. Insults are not nice… Especially since you would cut his right nut if he ever called YOU fat.

You’re crazy and clingy

Nothing makes a man question his relationship more than his nutcase, psychopath girlfriend. It’s the #1 reason guys dump girls! Put down the knife and have a little bit of this. Being clingy and possessive is sucking the life out of your relationship. And that’s just shitty.

You don’t believe in him and you don’t support him

How would you feel if you decided to apply for your dream job and your partner giggled behind your back? I get it may be hard for you to believe you 300 lbs beefcake man will succeed at figure skating.. But at leastsupport him. You’d want the same if the roles were switched. Relationships are about being there for each other as life passes us by; be his backbone today and he’ll be yours tomorrow.

No matter how good he is to you, you always doubt him

Ever heard of a the term self-fulfilling prophecy? Now, I don’t the specifics of your scenario but let’s assume he’s never done anything to betray your trust (which in most cases, he hasn’t). Do you need to harass him for being friends with another girl? What’s the point of accusing him of lying if there is absolutely no reason for him to lie? When you point fingers and call him a shitty liar one too many times, he’s going to look in the mirror and think, maybe I do like Becky.

Not-yo-money

Not until you’re married, bitch. And even then.. you need to have your own stash. Relying on your dude’s incomes is draining – not only is his wallet shrinking but so is his respect for you. Yes, it’s nice for a boy to treat a girl every now and then but when you flash a jacket you want along with a smile and some cleavage, you’re just being a shitty girlfriend. Flip the switch: imagine what you would feel like if he was always asking you to buy him things with your hard earned money? Exactly. Shitty.

You’re embarrassingly rude to anyone with a vagina

Nothing screams insecure, hostile bitch more than being rude to his female friends (and all other females he interacts with, like waitresses and grandmothers). Do you have any idea how awkward you make him feel? First of all, you should be confident – that goes without saying. But those bitches are the ones he hangs out with at work all day. You need them on your side. The last thing you need is to have them echo, she’s a bitch, leave her in his ear all day.

The point is, I’m tired of hearing girls whine about how crappy guys are when they’re being just as shitty. We are all capable of negligence and an undeserved sense of entitlement. Every relationship should be a blessing and something you’re both working hard to maintain. The truth is, you need to be a better girlfriend. Period.

Did I miss anything?

(Disclaimer: This is an old, old post I wrote for my old blog a long, long time ago)

Read He Left Because You’re Awful in our special print edition for a continued reality check. 

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  • Ashley Sapp

    Aaand love. Particularly everything needing to go both ways in a relationship. If you put yourself in his shoes and wouldn’t like to be treated the way you’re treating him, you’re doing something wrong. He needs compliments and affection, too! As always, great post, Chiara!

    • http://theindiechicks.com/ Chiara Mazzucco

      Thanks, Ashley. My big thing is always, “What if the roles were reversed”.. It ALWAYS sheds light on a situation!

  • EdiRii

    She’s wonderful isn’t she? :)