sexting, dating, relationships, love and sex, the indie chicks

Sexting 101: Do’s and Dont’s

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Julie Zantopoulos

When not acting as Vice President and Senior Editor at The Indie Chicks, Jewels is a writer at heart and most likely writing for her own website According to Jewels or working on her first novel.In her free time she loves heading to concerts, taking road trips, reading, and doing anything crafty. Don't hesitate to reach out...she loves chatting with our readers.

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It is a digital age where sometimes foreplay, and even sexy time, takes place on the phone. Maybe your man travels for work, or is in the military, or maybe you’re just at work but the urge strikes you to tell your man you can’t wait to see him later. Perhaps you and your guy can’t physically see each other, or you haven’t actually had sex yet and are building the tension. No matter why you decide to sext, it can be a lot of fun…if you do it right.

Sexting means different things to different people. For some it might mean flirting, to others it means explicit text messages detailing sex acts and sometimes it is home movies and pictures. No matter what your definition of sexting is there are some guidelines and protocols to follow. Here are our tips for the sexiest sexting.

Sexting 101: Keep it Private

It’s tempting to show your friends the naughty pictures and texts sent to you by the guys you are talking to, but try and be a lady about it. You wouldn’t want him passing your boobs around to all his friends (or maybe you would, I’m not judging) so offer him the same respect. A little discretion and common decency goes a long way. Plus, karma’s a real bitch.

Sexting 101: Suspend Reality

Know that fantasy about being tied up and enjoyed by multiple men? You can live out that fantasy while sexting where there are no rules, it’s safe, and you can let your walls down. Unlike actual sexual encounters where you have to worry about a certain position creating a fat roll or unflattering light shining off your cellulite, you can let go with your sexting and explore your kinkier side. You don’t have to pause mid sexting to put on a condom….just roll with it, sweetie.

Sexting 101: Face Off

When you talk about sexting, it’s usually with the assumption that at some point you are going to be sharing pictures of your naughty bits, or in some brazen cases, videos of yourself. I can’t stress this enough, for the purposes of sexting, you are a Barbie with the head ripped off. You do NOT have a head. Cut that shit out of every single photo! There is plausibly deniability (with the exception of identifying jewelry and tattoos) for any naked photo sent without a head. Remember, the keep it private rule, we hope he’s adhering to it as well but just in case, you are headless.

Sexting 101: Stay in Character

Nothing has killed the mood faster while sexting with a guy than him telling me, “hold on, my mom’s calling” or “brb gotta pee”. Seriously, keep that shit out of a sexting conversation. This is the time for white lies and fabrications. You could be hanging with a side pony in your period panties folding laundry but if he asks you what you’re wearing and what you’re doing your answer should be, “relaxing in bed in my black silk nightie”.  Stay in the mood, keep up the sexy, and remember you’re not on Skype, he can’t see if you’re peeing, just go do it.

Sexting 101: Get Graphic

“I want you to boink the heck out of me with your wee wee” is not a sexy phrase. If you’re going to sext then be comfortable enough with sexting vernacular to do it right. If you aren’t comfortable with words like moist, cock, and fuck it’s probably best to leave sexting to those who are.  There are some writer’s who just can’t write sex scenes and others who love writing them. Know your strengths. If you aren’t the kind of gal who can put into words her longings and desires, or you just aren’t comfortable doing it, then don’t; awkward sexting is worse than no sexting at all.

Sexting 101: Stay (Reasonably) Sober

Just like actual sex, a buzz can make things a little easier to say but sloppy drunk leads to sloppy sexting. Staying reasonably sober will ensure that sexy texts reach the correct person and that autocorrect doesn’t turn your “I want to fuck” to “I want to duck you”. It’s pretty hard to keep your man interested and aroused when he’s trying to correct your horrible spelling. Besides, just like a 3am booty call, a 3am sext just looks sad.

Sexting 101: Be A Slut

This isn’t ACTUAL sex you are having, so be a whore. Seriously, your number doesn’t change and you get to have textual relations with multiple men…get busy. There’s nothing wrong with having more than one guy you enjoy sexting. Get it, girl. Remember though, sexting isn’t sex and we need sex, so get out in the real world and satisfy your real urges, too.

People laugh and roll their eyes at sexting but in a world where nobody can survive more than a yard away from their cell phone, laptop, or tablet, it’s become a legit form of flirting and expression between two people. Don’t discount something that can add dimension and spice to your life. Give it a go & be sure to comment back with how it goes!

Want more? Get all out tips for sexy selfies in our print edition.

Image credit: Shutterstock 


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  • Chiara Mazzucco

    “for the purposes of sexting, you are a Barbie with the head ripped off.” I DIED. Believe it or not, I have never sexted. I definitely want to try it, preferably not with a side pony, menstruating, folding laundry. Loved this piece, Jewels. lol Thanks for bringing a giggle to my Friday.

  • Blissification

    “I want you to boink the heck out of me with your wee wee.” This is one of my favorite pieces, EVER! Hilarious! Bravo! Funny confession: I’ve accidentally sent a text to my Mom. She didn’t respond… .. .

  • Jo-Anne

    Not something I would do ever but I am short, fat and not that nice to look at