When you’re single, there are very few things more frightening than showing up alone to an event that you know your ex will be at. It’s awkward, embarrassing, and there is always that rush to be the one that has moved on first.
Believe me, I’ve been there. I know what it’s like. There have been many times when I have seriously considered hiring a male escort to accompany me to events if I know an ex-boyfriend will be there. I have even gone as far as Googling the legalities of paying someone for sex as long as you don’t ACTUALLY HAVE sex with them, before I stopped with the relationship that if I actually had ‘people hiring’ money, it would be better spent on finding someone to clean my house.
So what’s the next best thing? How about finding a hot guy to take with you that doesn’t require payment? Don’t you wish life was that simple?
Instead, if you’re like me, you will find yourself scouring through your Facebook friends trying to find someone that’s:
- Lives in your area and
- Won’t think it’s weird that you’re calling them out of the blue to invite them to a wedding
The Last Minute Guy
And there he is; the last minute guy. He’s the guy that’s cute enough, nice enough, smart enough, but ultimately is not enough enough to ever consider seriously having a relationship with.
There are four categories that the last minute guy can fall into and none of them are as pretty as you’re going to look at that wedding:
He Wants Sex
He’s only coming because he wants to have sex with you. He will keep his hand on your ass all night. You’ll feel disgusted and end up hiding in the bathroom.
He’s in Love with You
He has been waiting all of this time for you to reciprocate. He will ask the bride an inappropriate number of questions about the caterer before jotting down their number for future reference (his wedding to you). You’ll feel disgusted and end up hiding in the bathroom.
He’s the Nice Guy
He’s a genuinely nice guy and wants to help you out. Unfortunately, he’s the exception and not the rule. If he’s your date, then you will get laid tonight. Get it girl!
He Wants to Get Hammered
He’s only coming for the open bar. He will make a fool of himself on the dance floor. You’ll feel disgusted and end up hiding in the bathroom.
And he is only coming for the open bar!
Seriously, would you go to a wedding with someone you don’t really know unless there was free or severely reduced alcohol prices? No. The answer is no. So why should he be any different? You just have to question whether or not it’s a smart move to take someone whose sole desire is getting drunk to an event where you’re trying to make a good impression.