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Are Crazy Women Forcing Men to Marry?

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Julie Zantopoulos

When not acting as Vice President and Senior Editor at The Indie Chicks, Jewels is a writer at heart and most likely writing for her own website According to Jewels or working on her first novel.In her free time she loves heading to concerts, taking road trips, reading, and doing anything crafty. Don't hesitate to reach out...she loves chatting with our readers.

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Recently I was talking to a guy friend of mine who is about to get married and, like always, I wasn’t pulling any punches. I flat out asked him why he was getting married if there were fundamental issues in his relationship that already had him looking outside his relationship. Luckily he is used to my candid speech and didn’t get offended by the question. His answer didn’t shock me—though I wish it had.

I’m Tired of Crazy Women

This was his answer: “I’m tired of crazy women!”

“Every girl I dated prior to my fiancé was insane,” he admitted. “The thought of dating again horrifies me.”

I sat with that a second and then finally spoke, “So you are getting married to a woman you know you will cheat on because you don’t want to date crazy women again?”

“Yup,” came his clear and concise answer.

“What makes you call them crazy women?” I asked with genuine interest.

“Jewels, you don’t realize how different you are from the average woman out there dating right now. They are needy as shit. If I don’t answer a text or phone call immediately they freak out on me. You know that doesn’t work with me. Everything had to move so fast with them.” My friend is an emergency personnel worker, so when calls come in, he has to respond.

I ended that part of the conversation with a very simple statement that I hope hit home: “You know that mistresses are straight up psycho … Right?”

“Not all,” he said with a knowing laugh and that was the end of that conversation.

He’s Not Alone

The sad part of this conversation is that he’s not the first or only man I know who has done the exact same thing. I’ve had men admit to me they got married only because they were tired of crazy women, dating, and drama. They love their wife, don’t get me wrong, but they have no problem telling me that there are fatal flaws in the relationship. Not just simple flaws but ones that have them looking elsewhere for either emotional or physical comfort. All of this is still preferable to dealing with crazy women and dating again.

I’ve written before about the issues I take with women who behave ridiculously. I’ve addressed the crazy women, stalkers, and over-texters who just don’t know when to call it quits. I will never understand why they think behaving like a rabbit-boiling-psycho will endear them to the object of their affection. More over, if the roles were reversed they’d be calling the cops terrified that they were being stalked by a crazy guy. What makes them think they are exempt from the same laws that govern a person’s right to be left alone and not harassed?

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  • http://www.theindiechicks.com Chiara

    “Stop actin so cray cray”… hahahah You already know how I feel about this. I did an entire vlog about crazy bitches..

    “Ask yourself: Do I want to be the one he keeps around or the one he laughs about? ”

    This is SOOOO the perfect phrase. Great post, Jewels.

  • http://myfittblog.com Veronica

    Oh, my Doll! This article is a must-read for dating women. Crazy, needy, clingy is NEVER, EVER cute. More women need to realize this.

    I can’t imagine being pushed into the position of feeling so cornered by craziness that the first candidate for marriage only needs to be “not crazy.” Sigh. Ladies, stop being cray cray belongs on a t-shirt!

    • http://www.accordingtojewels.com Jewels

      We should make that shirt…I’d wear it. Honestly, ladies have lost their minds. Some of the stories I hear these men share horrify me. I am ashamed of my own gender sometimes.

  • strawberryp

    The irony? The reason b*tches be so cray cray is because they are (typically) ring-hungry nut jobs anyway. From their perspectives, I’m sure they see this as a win. But as always, you guys are putting out the word to encourage young women to aim for strength, confidence, and independence, rather than strollers, cocktails, and idiocy.

    • http://www.accordingtojewels.com Jewels

      Ring crazy to the point of blindness doesn’t do anyone a bit of good. Staying with somebody who is wrong with you to stay on some “track” you had in your mind or getting married knowing he isn’t fully invested. Ugh…makes my skin crawl.

  • http://www.fantasydatinggame.com Suzanne

    AMEN! Why is it so hard for some women to just be cool?!

  • http://www.forherbyher.com Elle @ ForHerByHer

    Agreed! “Stop being cray-crazy” – love that :)

    The way to stop this behaviour, other than raising the bar, is to value yourself and your time. There is no need to sit around waiting and begging for a guy’s attention. Most of us would lose interest in a clingy guy the second he starts texting every 10 minutes.

    When you value yourself, others value you.

    • http://www.accordingtojewels.com Jewels

      Love that advice. Valuing yourself above a guy, your time and your dignity, definitely help avoid that cray cray behavior. Thanks so much for reading and commenting.

  • http://notinthepink.com Ceri

    I wouldn’t class myself as a ‘crazy girl’ when it comes to dating – I mean I’m usually on the opposite side of the spectrum and am *too* laxed and casual – but I find this attitude a little ridiculous.

    How about the men have some balls and not waste a woman’s time by entering into a marriage where they have no intention of staying faithful?! It’s real easy for him to say his exes were crazy – Chances are they probably had good reason for going nuts when he wasn’t answering his phone, especially if he is being that open about his intention to cheat whilst married.

    Also you just know people would go nuts if a woman did this. Can you imagine the outrage?

    “I’m just getting married, ’cause hey, men are cray-cray yo, and this one ain’t – so I’m going to get all the benefits of marriage and mess around on the side!”

    I can’t deny that there are some crazy people out there in the dating pool, but those people are not forcing them to do anything. You don’t want to get married – don’t get married. Don’t do it and blame it on some “crazy” woman putting you off dating.

    And why do just the women have to be honest and ‘communicate their needs’? Why can’t the men be honest and forthright with their ‘crazy’ girlfriend and say ‘ Look, a few things have to change if we want to continue.’

    • Jessalyn Gerbholz

      I completely agree. Every man I have ever heard regularly complain about girls freaking out on them were all sleeping around, leading multiple girls on, and giving them reasons to freak out. If everyone gives the same review of a guy then maybe that man needs to start looking at himself. I don’t find women to be crazier than men at all…in fact it’s pretty even on both sides of the fence. There are stage five clingers who are both guys and girls. Then there are people who are straight up dishonest and only in it for themselves who inspire everyone they date to let them know how unacceptable they are. I think this one sided “blame a gender” approach is a little too simplistic.

      • http://theindiechicks.com/ Julie Zantopoulos

        Not all men who have girls go crazy on them are sleeping around. Not all women who go crazy have that as a justification. And I don’t think that anyone, man or woman, should be going so crazy that people are exiting the dating pool to avoid them. Regardless of the initial reasons for this article I think the end still has some good takeaways that WILL lead to a better relationship. Communication of needs, healthy attachment, etc are all important.

    • http://theindiechicks.com/ Julie Zantopoulos

      Of course there are two sides to each crazy coin. This wasn’t meant as an all encompassing article, merely a commentary on the conversations I’d been having at the time. Believe me he got an ear full for knowingly entering into a marriage with no intentions of staying faithful. That’s an absurd reason to do anything, let alone get married. And of course communication is a two way street.

      My main issue with the male logic of this is that women deal with insane dudes all the time but you don’t see us behaving this way. Nope, we get out there, keep sating, and remain hopeful. And heaven forbid we get jaded or cautious…then we’re damaged goods and too much work. Trust me, I’m not justifying his behavior…BUT that doesn’t stop the fact that there are a lot of women out there who are giving those of us with appropriate attachment and expectations of a relationship a bad name. There always will be those “crazy” outliers, in each gender.

  • Ana jwang

    In response to everyone on the article it’s so true but no women should feel ashamed of their gender no one is the same we only share common experiences

  • http://joannerambling.wordpress.com/ Jo-Anne

    There are some crazy bitches around but not all of us crazy bitches are out to trap a man, well that would be because I already have my man………….lol