Latest posts by Chiara Mazzucco (see all)
- Life Won’t Wait for You to Get Your Shit Together - September 29, 2014
- Dear Romantic Comedies (and other Romantic-Themed Movies) - September 26, 2014
- Why Your (Good) Bartender is Smarter Than You - September 22, 2014
“Daddy, why didn’t you bring Mom flowers today? She’s going to be sad and think you don’t love her.” I was neatly organizing the stack of valentine cards I had received at school. “Because your mom knows I love her,” he said without making eye contact. “But today is Lover’s day and if you don’t tell her today, it like, makes you a bad daddy or something.” I had to defend my mother’s honor. “Listen, I’ll buy your mother flowers the same day I do every year. The day after Valentine’s Day. And if you ask me why, I will tell you that when you’re married and in love, you’ll know. I don’t need a day to tell your mother I love her, I should be telling her every day.”
I hate Valentine’s Day. I don’t hate it because I’ve gotten dumped on it; I don’t hate it because I’ve spent it single most years of my life; I don’t hate it because it’s sappy. I hate Valentine’s day because it does the one thing I firmly believe no real relationship can survive against: it sets standards. In addition to setting ridiculous standards for couples, it makes single people turn to ex boyfriends, pity parties, and other destructive things like ice cream and drugs.
I, on the other hand, have decided to stab Lover’s day in the kidney.
12 Reasons to Hate Valentine’s Day
If You’re Together:
- If it’s not the first V-day together, you have to beat last year. Shouldn’t have started the relationship off with such a bang.
- You expect things. And the let down isn’t like every other day let downs. It’s a really, really, big let down.
- You’re forced to be romantic, even though it’s probably a day the girl is on her period and the guy had a bad day at work and it’s probably a day they’d rather watch Schindler’s List.
- Another card. Really? Thanks for the forced word vomit, again.
- You have to answer the world when it asks what the two of you did. It’s like you’re expected to have a romantic tale for the lonely souls in the audience.