Relationships

Long Distance Relationships: Do They Work

long distance relationships, the indie chicks, dating, relationships, love and sex
Written by Chiara Mazzucco

Life has a funny way of throwing a shit storm your way  the moment you think you’ve struck gold. You meet someone who kick flips your life upside down, someone who seems absolutely perfect: attractive, intelligent, like-minded and romantic. Then, the bomb drops. He lives across the country or he’s about to move across the country or, better yet, he’s doesn’t even live IN the country. What’s your next move? Do you dive into a long distance relationship, or do you let what seems like a one chance in a lifetime opportunity pass you by?

Love Should Conquer All

Meeting someone you connect with on so many levels is so rare that your first thought is: It HAS to work – it just HAS to. The nights you spent under the stars connecting had to count for something, right? We’ve been trained to think ‘love’, or what we believe to be love, will conquer any obstacles put before us.

It’s an illusion, a false sense of security, introduced to us via rom-coms and old fairytales. And we have no problem absolutely accepting it.

This is why you’ll often go into battle without checking all of your ammo first. You don’t go through a checklist to see whether or not your relationship is even a candidate with the power to survive 3,000 miles between you. You’ll dream of long talks on the phone and romantic embraces at the airport. You’ll have no idea how utterly insane the distance will drive you and how much of a psychopath it’ll probably turn you into.

But true love conquers! And our love is TRUE.

Unfortunately, your love life is not a never ending rom-com. Sorry to be the one to break it to you. 

Why Most Long Distance Relationships Don’t Work

Guys are visual creatures that need sex. Women are emotional creatures that need romance. Or the other way around… whatever, that’s a whole other article. Sure, Skype dates can extend the life of a long distance relationship, but not by much longer. And guys can send flowers, and order other surprises to be left at her doorstep, but she’ll eventually need real cuddles. There don’t have to be outside factors of temptation, it can simply be the lack of everything else necessary to make a relationship work. Relationships are already complicated, without the added hurdle.

There is, of course, the potential for temptation, too. As your lives grow into individual creatures, you’re bound to encounter people who intrigue you. When you’re in a same-location relationship, most people are able to shrug it off and go home to their partners. In a long distance relationship, they go home to their vibrator, hand, and a whole lot of imagination. Skype Sex can only do so much.

Another fun thing that happens in these types of relationships is the unexpected emergence of jealousy. You don’t have to be a psycho to let jealousy get the best of you. At first, you’ll be jealous he’s going out when you’re choosing to stay in. Then, it’ll mutate into Who, exactly, are you going out with? Eventually you’ll just start assuming he’s banging randoms every night just because.

Are you prepared to meet the really ugly, crazy version of yourself?

keep reading

Chiara Mazzucco

Founder and CEO at The Indie Chicks, Inc.
Founder and CEO of Indie Chicks, Inc.
Published author of The 9 Mirages of Love, web and graphic designer, and single mom to three cats and a baby.