Walk Away

Let That Frenemy Go

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Veronica

Roni is a fitness freak, she writes and utilizes most of her free time helping others find their bliss. She's furthered that love by getting certified as a life coach recently.

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A best friend can turn into a frenemy right before your very eyes. One minute she’s amazing, the next, a raging, obnoxious, negative bitch. Here’s how you know that you need to let that frenemy go!

There is a phenomenon that occurs when people evolve into the latest version of themselves. Their best friend either grows with them, or they grow while their best friend inevitably is left behind. No matter how much love, affection, and caring toward said best friend one might feel, there comes a point when the desperation to hold to what was becomes detrimental to everyone’s happiness.

I’ve had to do this twice before. The first time with with a liar, the second one, a judgmental bitch. I have detachment issues to begin with, so it doesn’t bother me as much as it should to break up with friends. Letting go of both friendships felt like the most natural thing because of how badly unsalvageable our relationships were.

She and I were always two completely different people, with similarities in how we handled men. We shared the same passions and believed in the same things. For years, she taught me many life lessons and she kept me strong when I felt weak. We adored spending time with one another and if either one of us needed a shoulder to cry on in the middle of the night, we never hesitated to call one another.

Our friendship was beneficial and whole until it happened.

By a cosmic shift of events, we went from best, forever friends to two people who felt like strangers. She begrudged my life decisions, and I didn’t appreciate feeling judged and abused.

If your best friend went from being a supportive source of great advice to an overly judgmental bitch, chances are your initial reaction is to question yourself. Don’t. Evaluate the situation, but don’t question the way she made you feel. Your emotions are valid.  If she tries to turn a happy situation in your life into a negative one because of her issues, don’t let her.

For example, let’s say you two had loving being single in common. If you were once happily single and clung to your singlehood, but then found someone you really adored who made you change your tune, that’s normal. You evolved and chose to go down a fresh, new path.

Your best friend isn’t happy. She accuses you of having a mental disorder because of your sudden change of heart. Questions arise about how well you really knew yourself, because surely, no one would have so quickly changed her mind as quickly as you did in order to choose happiness. She proceeds to bash your life and your man and your choices. This is not a true friend.

Another instance would be when you are promoted at work. That’s a happy situation, right? WRONG! Not for your “BFF” who has haterade running through her veins. She makes you feel stupid for being proud of your accomplishment, or worse, she belittles you. She’ll probably tell you that you won’t make it through your probationary period and should start looking for a job that suits you better at the local fast food joint.

I’ve seen many instances of people allowing themselves to stay in these horrible patterns of friendship because they’ve gotten comfortable. Don’t be one of those people. If you’re doing your best to move forward with your life, be happy, have a better job, or get healthy, but there’s a friend who’s doing all she can to bring you down, let that bitch go. Walk away from the relationships that no longer benefit you.

You deserve to have loving, supportive people in your life who celebrate what makes you feel whole. Never settle to allow someone who tears you down to stay in your life, because sooner or later, you’ll either start believing her or become like her.

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  • Courtney Renfro

    Great Article Vernonica ! I had a friend like that . We were very similar . She is very smart and driven . She was very rude . She was judgemental . I went on a guy with a guy . I was on the third date. He French kissed me . She was criticizing me . She had her own ” dating process” . I was debating about ending the reationship . I made a comment . She overreacted . Our friendship ended . I am happy , that it ended . She was usually mean to me .

    • Blissification

      Good riddance, Courtney! I’m sure you’re happier without her. Now you can French kiss any and everyone you want!

  • Courtney Renfro

    I mean that I went on a date with a guy .

  • http://www.accordingtojewels.com Jewels

    I had a friend that I was so close to it was ridiculous. We did everything together, through boyfriends and breakups, road trips, concerts, weekend getaways. Our names started to blend into one…we were synonymous with each other. Then I realized how incredibly smothering she was. It wasn’t just having fun…she got angry if I did things with other people. She would get jealous if guys paid attention to me out at bars and not her. It sucked breaking off that friendship but it was absolutely necessary after she tried to swing on me after a night of drinking. lol.

    • Blissification

      Goodness gracious! Drama much? You’re better off without, my Love. It’s a brave and necessary step toward your wellness and happiness.