theindiechicks,, single chick refund, buying gifts for friends, wedding gifts, baby shower gifts, asking friends for money,

Single Chick Refund

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Julie Zantopoulos

When not acting as Vice President and Senior Editor at The Indie Chicks, Jewels is a writer at heart and most likely writing for her own website According to Jewels or working on her first novel.In her free time she's loves heading to concerts, taking road trips, reading, and doing anything crafty. Don't hesitate to reach out...she loves chatting with our readers.

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Any woman who has been in a wedding knows that, while an honor, it’s not cheap. There’s a dress and shoes to buy, hair to do, nails to manicure, gifts to buy, maybe a flight or a hotel stay, and a bachelorette party to plan or attend, as well as countless other miscellaneous expenses. I’ve never said no to somebody who asked me to be in a wedding because it really is a true honor, a blessing, and I’m always touched, but that doesn’t mean I don’t cringe a tiny bit at what it will do to my budget.

The same can be said for when your friends start having babies. Oh my goodness, it’s so exciting, such a joy, but man is it a money suck. There are showers, baptisms, birthdays, and any other host of events in a child’s young life that just cost money. And that is just if you are a friend of the mother, but if you happen to be the child’s aunt, godmother, or other honored position, then the expenses add up even further. Those little angels are expensive, not just for the parents but for anyone who loves them enough to be an active part of their lives.

What have we learned so far? Weddings and children are costly even if they aren’t your own. I have paid thousands upon thousands of dollars to be in, attend, or otherwise be a part of weddings. The same can be said for spoiling the children in my life. You will NEVER hear me complain about it. Not ever. I do it out of love. I do it because it’s an honor to be a part of their special day and their upbringing but…

What about those women who don’t want a wedding or children? Where is our thousands upon thousands of dollars of gifted money? I realize that without children we should have a bit of extra money, but guess what doll face, you have a husband to split household costs and expenses with and I do not. I don’t think that our friends and families love us any less, but still there is no money coming our way. Is it a case of “If you don’t ask you’ll never get”? I really don’t think so, because I’ve straight up asked for money. So let me explain why I think there should be a single chick refund.

Single Chick Savings

Here is what I will save you, financially, in the long run of our friendship

    • Engagement present -$100
    • Bridal shower present -$100
    • Bachelorette party -$100
    • Possible bridesmaid gown, shoes, hair, makeup, nails, and accessories -$600-$1,000
      • At the very least a dress for the wedding
    • Possible destination wedding, flights, hotel stay, car rental, etc –prices vary
    • Wedding gift -$100
    • Baby Shower Gift -$75
    • Welcome home baby/mommy gift -$25
    • Baptism/Christening Gift -$100
    • Christmas presents for the next 18 years for the kid -$50 a year =$900
    • Birthday presents every year for the next 18 years -$50 a year = $900
    • …and if I were to have had more than one child, then rinse and repeat. -$1800 per kid
    • Hell, what if I had more than one marriage?–dude!

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  • Chiara Mazzucco

    Personally, I agree with you. I was actually pretty bitter because when Jason and I got married, we had a court wedding so we didn’t get any wedding gifts, starter home gifts, money to help us get off the ground.. any of it. On the flip side, around the same time, we DID get a lot for Luca’s baby shower and there was no way we could have gotten all that stuff for him on our own.

    I think coupled up people don’t take into account how much really comes out of your wallet and they definitely don’t take into account that they’re not the only ‘couple’ in your life, therefore that 3,000$ goes for every couple you support!

    And I will say, my favorite part about this is you asking for the support. Honestly, it’s a society/culture thing. If a baby is born, you’re a shit person if you don’t buy ‘it’ a gift. Just like it’s expected of you to show you to a wedding, spend the money on the dress and the gifts and everything else, because if you don’t, you’re a shit friend. It’s a societal expectation.

    No one takes the time to consider an individual’s equivalent of importance and milestones when they are specific to an individual. I.e. it’s easy to pass up buying a magazine to support your endeavor because no one will notice and the rest of their friends and family aren’t attending an event with cash in hand to purchase it.

    • Jewels

      It’s hard when you’re single and want support from friends for the very reason you mention. There is no flashy party for the events in my life that ‘guilt’ or require gifts. I can ask, hell I can beg, but nobody ‘has’ to support my projects by society’s standards. That doesn’t make this magazine, my walk for breast cancer, or my plunge for special olympics any less important to me though. It wears on you after a little bit, the lack of balance.

  • Ashley Sapp

    I think you’re spot on with this. Living expenses are crazy on their own (whether it be rent, mortgage, utilities, etc), and it’s not fun or easy to be the only person shouldering the expense. When two people each have jobs to help the household, the burden is lessened because it is shared. I agree with Chiara that a lot of this is societal. Babies and weddings are considered the major milestones in a person’s life, the ones to be celebrated or else you’re considered a crap friend. Like you said, though, you do it out of love more than the expectation. And the same should go for your endeavors, regardless of what they are. You support friends in whatever they’re doing because you love them – whether that be a wedding or a magazine launch. Individual goals should be taken into consideration. Support is support.

    • Jewels

      Things are given weight and importance based on society’s view of them. Society demands we marry and have children and enforces it by gifting them. It does start to feel very unfair when the same attention is not given to the endeavors that I take on. You’re very right. Support is support. Thank you for yours, now and always.

  • Chrystal Rose

    Love it Julie! This really reminds me of that SATC episode where Carrie’s Manolos get stolen and her friend basically scorns her for her “irresponsible choices” and Carrie adds up all the money she’s spent on her friend’s so-called responsible choices and sends her an “I’m marrying myself!” card with where she’s registered. LOVE it.

    I love spending $ on my loved ones and am happy to do it– but I completely agree with you in terms of support. If I’m there for you to support all your traditional life milestones then please support mine- even if they don’t look like what “normal” people would consider to be milestones.

    • Jewels

      I’ve never seen any of the SATC but I’ve heard about that episode and I love the idea. I am glad that this article was taken for what it was meant to be, a call for equal importance to be placed on the accomplishments of everyone, whether they are married or not.

  • Michael

    Love this! I couldn’t agree more. I was just discussing with a friend how expensive weddings are and that they can turn into hassles because of all the expenses. I come back to check my e-mail and this is what’s there.