double standards, exotic dancers, men, women, society

Double Standard: Exotic Dancers

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Renee Claybion

Renee's knack for telling it like it is and looking at life with a bit of humor gives her a unique voice and perspective. Renee can be found singing at the top of her lungs in LA traffic, enjoying her favorite horror films and playing around with her rambunctious 8 year old son Aidan.

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So I know you read double standards and you’re mind automatically goes to the general boy/girl battles. But in this battle I want to shed some light on the differences between societies’ take on male and female exotic dancers. Most of the female world was absolutely rocked by Magic Mike, but while I also fell victim to Channing Tatum’s sexy moves. The explosive response to the movie begs the question; if this were about female strippers would we all rush to see it? And would we view it as a funny, empowering, coming of age story? More likely it would be the sad story of a down on her luck woman forced to sell her body as some desperate attempt at a better life. Anyone remember a little movie called “The Player’s Club”? So let’s take a look at some of the major differences in the way we view exotic dancers.

Atmosphere—

So when I hear the word male exotic dancer, I laugh. The thought of a man thrusting and sweating, dressed up, as a cowboy isn’t my idea of sexy. Personally, I haven’t been to a male strip club and aside from seeing Magic Mike I don’t plan on it. Now if Channing Tatum will be there then exceptions can be made. I do on the other hand have friends that have been with large groups and for bachelorette parties and they go and have a blast, throwing money and getting wasted.  That’s perfectly acceptable, but overall the atmosphere is totally different! Firstly it’s not a strip club it’s a male revue, it’s a fun relaxed environment, dancer’s put on classic fantasy costumes and have full stage performances. It’s an act and they happen to take off their clothes.

Now flip side… I have been to female strip clubs, I’m pretty sure that the general population would agree with me that the female form is much more alluring and sexy. But unless you enter one of the swankier options generally female strip clubs are seedy venues, with tons of poles, woman strolling the walkways looking for a lap dance and men staring like dogs in heat. Your other options are for the slightly classier venues that have center stages and a more selective group of women, but unless you can afford that option one is probably where you’ll end up.

What’s your occupation??

If you were to introduce your new girlfriend or friend for that matter to your mom and she asked, “what’s you job sweetie?” your friend having no qualms with her job would say, “Well, I’m a stripper.”… OK so we’ve got our general set up, what do you think mom’s face looks like? While there are some mother’s in the world that aren’t affected by going to strip clubs how many of those same woman would say they want their son to date or their daughter to become a stripper? I’m betting popular opinion is still no.

Now let’s say we’re in the same scenario but with a man this time… mom asks what you do? He answers oh I’m an exotic dancer. Mom most likely bursts out into laughter and then launches into conversation about how Jimmy got into the business.

Quality of work…

OK to be honest I this topic swings both ways. By all accounts women, once inside a male strip club loose all inhibitions and after a few drinks are all hands. This isn’t exactly allowed but isn’t so strictly enforced the same way it would be while inside a female club. In there its “no hands!” break that rule and you’re out. So while in a female strip club men have a strict no touching rule but for men this same rule is slightly bent because well they’re men right, they can protect themselves from a bunch of women.

Now if we talk about compensation, most would think women make more money than men, but most male clubs have one main dancer at a time, thus making the profits for their performance greater, not to mention that women will be more generous initially.

Remember female clubs generally have about 10-15 girls working a night, there’s only so many men willing to tip big and cat fights are part of the job. There’s no high fives going on the floor, those women are there to work and no one is going to get in their way!

There is no shame in this profession but we stigmatize female exotic dancers as frail and desperate woman who’ve been left with no other choice but to take off their clothes for money. Leaving them to suffer the cross of being a stripper for the rest of their days, because of course there’s no getting out of the game once you’re in.  Men on the other hand are thought of as a fun loving guy with a strange job, but it’s always just a starting out part. They won’t do it forever and I mean what man wouldn’t want to have a room full of women dying to get their hands on him. Personally, I’ve got no problem with either profession, both deserve some recognition because its damn hard work dancing for 3 minutes straight. So instead of bashing and judging we should show some respect for the amount of work and patience it takes.

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  • http://amberlashell.blogspot.com/ Amber LaShell

    What is funny is I have been to both types of Strip Clubs… I just recently went to Labare for a bacholerette party and it is so much different than a female strip club.

    Touching is not forbidden at a male strip club. It is highly encouraged. When the men are on stage, they do their act, and once they are down to their skivvies, they come to the front of the stage for the dollar bills. They physically grab your hands and MAKE you rub their bodies (not that I was complaining), they pull your hair, and if your lucky they will give you a good spanking.

    I agree that the female form is much sexier in general, but it kind of sucks that you can’t touch. I can look at a video online for free, I want to touch that sexy thang!

  • http://www.theindiechicks.com Chiara Mazzucco

    First of all, I could never imagine myself going to a male strip club and actually being turned on. Off the bat, I see it as fun, light entertainment, not ‘to set the mood’.

    Secondly, it’s absolutely true – men and women are seen completely different in the same light of profession. But I have to tell you, the few female strippers I have met were DEFINITELY not the frail, desperate women society assumes they are. One put herself through college and set up a savings plan most of us can only dream of.

  • http://chaosandwords.wordpress.com/ Ashley

    This is a great point to make. In many professions, women and men in the same occupation are viewed differently (look at executives, for example). However, you take it in a different direction that also exemplifies this. You’re absolutely right, though – they’re viewed as bottom of the barrel women who are scraping by. It’s almost viewed as demeaning rather than empowering, while it’s the exact opposite for male exotic dancers. Excellent article.

  • http://www.theindiechicks.com Renee

    So true ladies, the double standard will always apply. its a sad truth about society. I’m so glad you all enjoyed it, I love looking at the differences between men and women and love starting a discussion.

  • http://www.accordingtojewels.com Jewels

    Having been to neither of these establishments I can say that I’d probably never consider going to a “male review” while going to a strip club wouldn’t bother me a bit.

    Men would look at a woman who worked at a strip club with different eyes than they would a guy who got to be touched on by women as a profession. Unfortunately the way we view men/women and sex/sexuality isn’t going to change anytime soon-though I wish it would. I see nothing wrong with either gender making money and doing whatever they feel comfortable doing with their bodies.

  • chuck

    Does the fact that a man can “protect himself” against a bunch of women make it any less intrusive to be fondled? I almost see this in a similar light as someone “blaming the victim” of a “sexy” dressed rape victim.