confessional

Confessions Vol12

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The Indie Chicks

The Indie Chicks is an online magazine for passionate, ambitious women craving inspiration, motivation and a community of like-minded individuals. We focus on self-empowerment and on embracing one's inner badass. We're fun, we're smart and we're ambitious. We're your new favorite community, baby.
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“I snooped through my boyfriends stuff and I found some pictures of his ex girlfriend and I called him out on it but he said nothing was going on. He said he had them from their relationship (I moved in with him) and that he just never got rid of them. When I asked him to throw them away he said no. So yesterday I was cleaning and I grabbed them and I threw them away and he hasn’t noticed yet. I don’t know how he’ll react when he realized I chucked them. Oops.”

“I feel nothing, sexually. No joy, no pleasure, nothing. I played along and faked it for years, but never have I found the hassle of the encounters worth the effort. I just want to be left alone. I’ve been married for 20 years, and he’s resigned to live our loveless life just to keep the stability of our household for the kids. I can’t wait until they are grown so I can leave him and be alone. I’ve tried having affairs, looking to see if someone can awaken something in me, but I guess I am just dead inside.”

“We’re so poor that I have to take my wife and baby to my parents house and pretend we want to visit just to eat dinner.”

“I’ve just ripped myself away from the dragging and heartbreaking end of a six year relationship, even though I’m only 22. I’ve moved back in with my parents after four years of university. They now live in a different country to where I grew up; we now live on a farm, in the middle of nowhere, in rural Denmark. The only friends that I made in university are all busy living their own lives and don’t have the time or means to come and see me, and I haven’t the means to go to see them. I feel like my degree is useless, I hated the time that I spent at university because I knew that I didn’t want to follow that career path, but I didn’t want to quit and be labelled a ‘failure’… So I stuck at it. I now want to go into conservation and environmental science, though I have no idea how to go into it, and seeing as I don’t speak the language here, there’s no way of asking for help.I can’t speak Danish, I can’t drive, I am unfit, I am lonely, I am heartbroken, and I have been in a depressive slump for years… I know what I need to do. I know it sounds like a cop-out but I don’t know if I can do it all by myself… The only way I ever sit there and think ‘yeah maybe I can do this’ is when I read things from The Indie Chicks and other sites like yours…I want to release my inner badass. I used to know her, and I squashed her down because of fear and because of men.. Well, boys at the time.. She’s dying to get out, she’s been screaming at me for years and I haven’t been paying attention.I need that final push to let her out again… If only I could find a way… Or if someone would drag me up. You know when you feel like you’re semi-drowning? You’re just below the surface of the water and you’re fighting and you’re shouting, and nothing’s happening, and no one can hear you…”

“I’ve been in a happy, committed relationship for 16 years. Some of it engaged or married. Recently, much by happenstance, a friend takes me to this bar and they are hosting a male stripper night. This is not my scene and asked my friend if she knew this would be going on. She said, no as she’s not a regular. I told her I wasn’t that comfortable with the scene, but my wifely conscience could handle a “look but don’t touch” policy. She laughed and said everything could be made better with a drink. I agreed. 2 drinks much later into the evening I am being offered a free lap dance, as I told the dancer I had no more cash on me (I spent it on drinks). He was fine with it and I was still upholding my “look but don’t touch” policy until my friend tossed one of my hands onto the guy’s back. Awkwardness on top of awkwardness – on top of me. I manage to leave the bar without much further pursuit from the dancer – though he seemed pissed that neither of us were down for hooking up (aka asked if we wanted to hang out – yeah right) with someone whose profession easily makes them the human equivalent of a venus fly-trap – say women’s fly’s?”

“I love my husband to death, and my life with him is incredibly awesome. But the sex part leaves me dry. I hate to admit it, but it just does. I’ve never cheated on him, have never wanted to either.

Lately I have been filling my spare time with an old school friend. It’s all online, but it’s sexy as hell. He describes to me what he wants to do to me, how he would use his tongue on me. And I crave him all the time. I guess we’re all lucky he lives two countries away, but still I’ve become obsessed with my fantasies. I know I need to get him out of my system, yet I would hate to lose this part of my world right now. I’m torn with what I know is right, and how all I desire is wrong and could totally destroy my relationship. And break my husband’s heart.

I just hope this monster I’ve created won’t take over my life.”

“Okay this is got to be the first time I’ve ever said anything and I’m only saying it because I’m letting go of my fucked up past. When I was 16, I believe, I started sleeping with my cousin. Now don’t be so quick to point fingers at him. Because I was the persistent one, the sexual seducer, the promiscuous one that whispered.. “No one will ever know.” He was so handsome to me and knowing it was wrong I think made me pursue him more. I slept with him for 5 years. Once to twice a year when I would get rammed drunk. He’s older then me by about 4 years.But as I got older he became less attractive to me and a sense of guilt started to emerge in me.Don’t worry I’m not suicidal. Just a girl that was confused and lost in the world for awhile. I’m recovered from drugs, which I believe was my sole purpose for this incest insanity. After he turned me down and I confessed how I felt guilty. He immediately stayed away from me for about a year. But now we’re practically neighbors.We see each other more now than ever. Just without the sex. Haha, we’re family its not like I’m never gonna see him again. And we have both asked The Lord for our forgiveness in which I believe we received. Drugs will take you to places you never thought you’d be and when you’re there it’s extremely hard to get out. But I did it!!! Any one can, you just gotta have strength, and believe that you can. Time to wash my hands. Peace Out Ladies!!”

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  • Chrystal Rose

    These confessions always blow my mind and make we want to hug everyone who has shared!

  • Jewels

    Wow. Just wow this week.

    Snooping is only ever going to bring you drama and throwing away his belongings is not going to end well. You can ‘ooops’ when his reaction means he no longer trusts you like you should have trusted him. Just saying.

    Lonely & Lost in Denmark: Oh honey I just want to squeeze you. I’m so sorry. We all flounder in life a bit, unsure what our path should be, but once you hone in on your passions you have to do what it takes to follow them. I am so happy that your time spent here builds you up and I hope t helps you realize that within you is the power to change and grow and be exactly who you want to be.

    Washing Your Hands: Wow. That’s real and I’m glad that you purged it. I always get uncomfortable when it comes to family love in historical fiction stories BUT the fact is that it was once a commonly practiced and acceptable thing to sleep with your distant relations. Now, I’m not condoning or saying “go bone your cousin” but it’s not the end of the world aside from the social stigma of it. I am glad that it ended and that you guys can face one another at family functions knowing that is in your past. I’m glad you got clean, got strong, and took charge of your life. That’s quite the tale of overcoming you have there. You should be proud of yourself.

  • Bouncin’ Barb

    Excellent article. None of us should ever claim to be perfect!!

  • http://joannerambling.wordpress.com/ Jo-Anne

    Reading these makes me realise how good my life is and I know I have said in the past that my life is boring and maybe to some it is but mostly it is a good life and I am happy with my life and my family and still in love with Tim after 30yrs together so I am a lucky woman