Dating Love and Sex

How to Text a Guy

Written by Chiara Mazzucco

Bam. Numbers have been exchanged and flirtation has commenced. Game ON, baby! There is nothing more fun than getting your flirty text dance on with a new crush – question is: how good are your guy texting moves? I watched this hilarious video on how to text a girl, and it got me thinking, do girls know what they’re doing when texting guys? Here’s how to text a guy and get your text game on.

How to Text a Guy

1. Consider Text Frequency

How often should you be texting him? Well, the rules of real life accessibility still apply, even behind the screen. Would you want to appear in front of him every single time he thought of you, or would you want to incorporate a little game of hard to get? You shouldn’t be texting him all day, everyday. Don’t you have anything better to do? I always say the most attractive thing about an individual is the ability to do your own thing.

Texting tip: Text a guy enough so he’ll think of you, but not so much, so he still wonders what you’re doing. Every now and then it’s okay to respond immediately, since we spend most of our day on our smart phones anyway, but consider spacing your initial responses out a bit so you don’t look crazy desperate.

2. Legibility

We text so much nowadays that it should be considered an extension of how we present ourselves in face-to-face interactions. Use punctuation, spell things correctly, and don’t rely on an overabundance of emoticons to translate how you’re feeling, or you’ll look like a tween. And for fucks sake, DoN’t TeXt HiM LiKe tHiS. Don’t over LOL and don’t ever text in all caps. Wtf?

Texting tip: There’s no need to be too verbose  – i.e. novel length texts, and you can definitely shorten words where abbreviations apply. However, keep in mind that there is a text version of sounding like an idiot and the written word is just as valuable as the spoken word. Choose your words wisely and give yourself an above middle school education.

3. Give Him a Chance to Respond, Man

I always say that texting someone a crap ton of follow-ups to a text is the equivalent of screaming the same sentence in someone’s face until they respond. You may get a response out, but the result is going to be far from what you were hoping for. Just because your message was sent – and maybe read – doesn’t mean he has to respond right away. People drive. People have meetings. People fall asleep. People have guests they don’t want to ignore. Sending 10 aggressive texts to make sure he got what you dished makes you look like a crazy.

Texting tip: If something requires a phone call, pick up the phone and call. When you text a guy don’t ask crazy weighted questions that make you want to cut your wrist for every minute that goes by that he doesn’t respond. Doing crap like that is just asking to let your inner insecure crazy out to play. If you’re having problems waiting for a response, grab your phone and put it in a drawer and go keep busy. Take a shower, read a book, or watch an episode of something that draws you in.

4. To Read Receipt or Not to Read Receipt

The jury is still out on what it does to a guy’s sanity to see you’ve read a text but haven’t responded. Turning on read receipt, which shows the exact time a text has been read, comes with immense power that can be used or abused. If you leave it on, be mindful of your response time and only use it to control a small number of situations. Always acknowledge the fact you’ve read a message. For example, if you read it and it said something important, when you respond make sure to say something like, “Sorry! I was in a meeting,” or say, “I was driving and couldn’t respond, but the answer is definitely yes!” If he has it on, please refer to tip #3.

Texting tip: Don’t go switching it on or off like a light switch in the middle of a flirtationship – that’s just confusing. Your goal is to get a little control and use it to your advantage.

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Chiara Mazzucco

Chiara Mazzucco

Founder and CEO at The Indie Chicks, Inc.
Founder and CEO of Indie Chicks, Inc.
Published author of The 9 Mirages of Love, web and graphic designer, and single mom to three cats and a baby.
Chiara Mazzucco