How To Be Sexy


Men fantasize about being with them and women fantasize about just being them; there is something irresistible about sexy women. Deep inside, buried under even the heaviest of insecurities, lies a sex kitten needing to be awakened. Grab a pen and let’s get started on how to be sexy.

So, You Want to Be Sexy

There are two components to the question, “how to be sexy?” and if anyone sells you one without the other, you’re getting jipped. Appearance and Behavior. Many will vouch that a woman with only one of the two will leave a passerby feeling dissatisfied. Take, for example, the girl with the looks and a shitty personality. Most men will only be able to tolerate a pretty face for so long until their attention is captured elsewhere. You can do all the primping you want but the only real way to retain interest is to offer the full package.


  • Hair: Keep it washed and tamed, make sure it’s always smelling good. When a man hugs you, he’ll sneak a whiff and there’s nothing arousing about the scent of an unwashed scalp.
  • Make up: Optional. Wearing make up to accentuate and not to cover up makes a big difference. Big, noticeable eyes subconsciously remind men of youth; mascara opens and brings focus to them and eye shadow makes the color of your irises pop. Plush, supple lips invite the fantasy of a kiss—one that may very well lead to a sexy love-making session. But beware, when the temperature rises, there is nothing more disgusting than a caked-up face.
  • Skin: Wash it, exfoliate it, moisturize it. Nothing you haven’t heard before.
  • Body: Get that body into shape. You don’t have to be a size two but there is nothing sexier than a woman who not only takes care of her body but has the figure to flaunt it in a little black dress. Besides, you’ll be more limber.
  • Underwear: Kmart bras may be affordable but there’s something to be said about a sexy, well fitted, lacy bra. Invest. And every now and then, skip it all together. A sneak peek is sexy, just make sure you’re not poking anyone’s eyes out. And boy shorts can be just as, if not more sexy, than a g-string. Tone that butt and let a little cheek get your lover’s mind to wander.
  • Clothes: Everyone has a different style, just make sure you look polished. The fresh out of bed look is occasionally cute and fuckable if you’re at home but definitely not when you stroll into work. Tighter fit, but leave some to the imagination.
  • Wash yourself: Don’t use pheromones as an excuse, the attraction is subconscious. Consciously, we can all smell your arm pits and can only imagine what it smells like below the border.

Want to know how to be sexy? The goal is to take care of yourself, however way you do it. If a man finds your body worth taking care of, he’ll worship it the same way. It’s not about being fake, it’s about treating your body the way it deserves to be treated.

Everything Else: Behavior

  • Mystery: Although many women believe spilling their guts is the definition of intimacy, it’s not. Keep him guessing but don’t hold it all back. Once you’re able to master the art of the tease, you’ll be irresistible.
  • Intelligence: There is nothing sexier than a woman who can hold her own at a round table discussion. Educate yourself. In addition to it being important, being knowledgeable attracts the male’s need to be challenged and enlightened.
  • Optimism: There’s a difference between being optimistic and being naive. Having a positive outlook on life attracts even the most random of passerby. Smiling makes you look more approachable and indirectly makes you more desirable.
  • Independence: A woman with ambition will catch a guy’s eye quicker than any red lipstick. When a woman is independent, it screams that she needs no one else to accomplish her goals and men are curious to know exactly why they aren’t needed. A woman who knows what she wants and makes a beeline for it is the definition of sexy; nothing’s more of a buzz-kill than someone constantly attached to your hip, begging to be nurtured.
  • Confidence: The best for last. Almost each one of my readers said that confidence makes a woman sexy. Not to be confused with arrogance—confidence leaves a positive, memorable mark where ever you go. Steady your voice, introduce yourself to strangers and don’t be afraid to speak your mind. Know your worth and don’t accept any less. Keep good posture. Pick your battles. Without confidence, no other characteristic will work in turning you into the sex kitten you want to be.

Remember, when it comes to how to be sexy, there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance, as well as a fine line between sexy and slutty. Be yourself. Nothing listed above is intended to necessarily “transform” you from troll to beauty. It’s about accentuating what is already there and knowing you don’t have to be a 5’11” supermodel to be sexy. Remember that you deserve to have the highest of self-esteem and that it’s not about conforming. And just because you choose to shave your legs doesn’t mean you’re anti-feminism!

Now you know how to be sexy so go sexify!

Image Credit: Shutterstock

Chiara Mazzucco

Chiara Mazzucco

Chiara is the Founder and CEO of Indie Chicks, Inc. She's a published author of The 9 Mirages of Love, and is working on her second book, But First, Me. You can find out more about her by visiting her website, or can email her to get in touch.

  1. My husband say’s Intelligence is sexy.When he see’s women reading tabloid magazines and nothing else you know what you are getting right from the start.If your see girls reading novels and staying up on current events you know your getting a smart sexy lady.

  2. Another great piece Chiara, love it! Every women is sexy in her own right and in her own way, she must just believe it and never EVER worry that caring about your appearance = vanity or subservience to men. Intelligence, confidence and a twinkle in the eye – irresistable for either sex I think. I follow the rule of only ‘sexing’ up one part of your outfit at once, i.e. either flash a little cleavage or show off your legs or bum but never all together. Hopefully keeps me in the ‘sexy not slutty’ category!

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