Pregnancy is a beautiful time, magical things are happening to your body, you’re growing a little human and the glow of attention is upon you. First your boobs are huge and waist is tiny, you’ve maintained that amazing physique, unicorn’s walk by your side and doves fly through every door you enter. And then like a tornado pops up on the plains your belly has popped and raging hormones are turning you into wild stallion of a mess . You hold on to the hope that you’re still just one of the girls, still a part of the non-pregnant crowd. Of course now the question is How to be pregnant and social without going from zero to crying mess at any turn.
When I was pregnant I was young so going out was like a secret ops mission, big sweaters and loose blouses were standard, I didn’t even have to worry about being pregnant and social. Now pregnancy is adorable, you’ve got cute tops, jeans and accessories to make your bump look amazing. This isn’t the 17th century where, once knocked up you must be quarantined in a room, you have every right to be out and about. But just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you get to bring everyone around you into your uterus, here’s a helpful guide to being pregnant and social without becoming a hormonal raging mess at the party, in five helpful scenarios.
1. Being social with your co-workers is a mine field without being pregnant but you’ve been invited out for after work drinks and you’re totally in! It’s been a while since you’ve socialized with someone other than your mother in-law and you’re looking forward to some traditional gossip. Fairly standard scenario, here’s the key you’re in mixed company so when asked about your how your “feeling” or how your pregnancy is going, this is Not and I repeat NOT an open invitation to tell everyone at the table how many stretch marks have appeared and how your night gas makes your significant other sleep in the spare bedroom. Ladies keep it simple, please!
2. You’ve been spending the day with your closest girls; they’re all planning a big night out to let some steam off after Jen’s recent breakup. It’s man hunting time! Of course you’ve been invited, so you go. After the epic battle with your closet to find something that fits and is worthy, you’ve made it. The bar is packed and your friends are happily drunk and flirting. You’ve not been left alone but are happily sitting at the table sipping on your cranberry juice, until some douche makes a nasty remark about the whale at the next table. Harsh yes, your mojo is gone, you confide in your friends and they try they’re hardest to convince you that he was actually referring to the very overweight woman standing just inches from you. You can’t be moved, the hormonal effect has sunken in, naturally you make it your personal mission to destroy everyone’s good time. Now the only thing on your face is a frown and the only words out of your mouth are I’m tired. Here’s the thing, even non-pregnant women might get miffed about that comment but it’s not your party and you won’t cry if you want to. Remember your socialgraces, if you’re that upset politely excuse yourself and return to the comfort of your home, plain and simple.
Baby Shower Social
3. It’s your baby shower!! This is your day, your friends and family have pulled together to create a magical event. Decorations are up, the gifts are out, and drinks are poured, food prepared. You walk into an enchanted gathering, you’ve got the seat of honor and attention is being showered on you. You love it! Then the games start, some of your friends have had a bit to drink and dad to be seems to be enjoying more time with friends being social than at your side, being the ever dutiful servant. All the activity and social norms are starting to wear your pregnant body down. So once again, the pout appears, now the gifts don’t seem so awesome and the words Thank You taste like acid in your mouth. Here’s the thing to remember everyone is entitled to fun, and even though it’s your baby shower everyone there is having a great time. That’s what’s important to remember. Most baby showers sucks and the fact that you’re pulling off a co-ed shower is Oscar worthy. Take a minute to be grateful and then go home and complain about how drunk everyone was.
Pregnant and Stuck at Home!
4. You’ve entered your third trimester. It’s almost time, things are a bit harder to do and you’re mostly home bound, so being social takes on a new meaning. Okay, so you’re stuck at home and are tired of your body being run by this unknown visitor. You want your freedom back, dammit! Do NOT lash out at your friends for not visiting enough. Remember they’ve got lives and jobs and things going on too! Okay, they’re not pregnant but it’s not fair to viciously attack them for not being around “enough”. It’s hard to do when hormones are raging but try not to take it personally. Friends and family visit when they can and if you’re not communicating how you’re feeling lonely they may not know the effect they’re having on you.
5. The baby has arrived!! Finally you get to meet the little monster that’s kicked your insides into oblivion and controlled your every move for the last 9 months! Congratulations your not pregnant!! You’re a new mom and have every right to be protective of your bundle of joy! The do’s and don’ts are harder to navigate here, while you appreciate your friends coming in to see you, you have every right to make specific requests, wash your hands before touching the baby, sit down while holding etc. Once the hospital visits have ended you’re home and have got full baby duty on your hands. Don’t get mad when those same friends can’t come help you; welcome to Mommy-hood. As much as you want to rip their heads off for not offering to come and help it’s your job to be mom. And when those same friends do come over to help and visit, LET THEM HELP!! Nothing is more annoying than a mom who yells at you for not being there and then scolds you for trying to help.
Above all friends, remember, your body is changing and while that can be scary it’s not an excuse for bad behavior. Pregnant or not it takes effort to be social and polite; I have to remind myself of that every day. And I know that after 9 months you can feel like a prisoner in your own body. But just think of all the amazing times to come with your little bundle!!
Have any crazy hormonal stories? Please share because they’re all awesome.