The Indie Chicks

Gender Wars: Sex On The First Date


When I pitched the idea of a Gender Wars series at The Indie Chicks we all agreed it would be fun. I immediately thought of one of my most trusted male bloggers/internet personalities, Quincy from Talk2Q and the Talk2Q blog talk radio show and asked him to join me for the first installment. So, what are the genders facing off on?  We are debating a question that haunts daters; sex on the first date? Enough tip toeing around the topic, let’s get into it! We’ll let the gentlemen go first, shall we?

Sex On The First Date: His Opinion

First of all, I’m thrilled to be paired with Jewels in anything… even if it’s just a blog post. Since I’m here to give you the man’s view on this topic, let’s jump right in to my thoughts.

Sex on the first date: a no-no or a worry of the past? Well, I guess it depends on whom you ask these days. A lot of people from my generation (70’s baby) and older were raised to believe that if someone sleeps with you on the first date, then they’re not long-term material. I think those days are pretty much over. People aren’t willing to wait around like they did in the 1980’s. Remember those songs like, “We Don’t Have to Take Our Clothes Off (To Have a Good Time)” and “Let’s Wait Awhile”? Those songs have been replaced by songs about “twerking” and “booty clapping”, everything is sexualized now which means that waiting on sex is even more “old fashioned” than ever.

Let’s discuss men and sex though. Men are credited with being more visual than women. When a man spots a woman who is attractive, then he’s not thinking along the lines of, “oh, my mother would be so proud if I brought her home!”

Not at all!  He’s hoping for the opportunity to sleep with her and if all goes well, maybe they will have a future together. Sounds backwards, huh? Well, it may seem shallow and I can’t say that 100% of men have this thought, but I know it’s definitely a majority. It’s safe to assume that most men are generally okay with it when a woman wants to get down on Date One.

Women have to deal with being labeled if they decide to sleep with a man on the first date.  There’s a lot more pressure on them.  Unlike men, women will be label as sluts if they horizontal mambo with a dude on the first date.  She also has to wonder if the man sleeping with her will think she’s a slut, too.

sex on the first date, prize panties, Only he knows if there will be a second date if he gets those “drawers” on Date One.  I don’t think most guys these days would hold that against the lady unless she got all “Jenna Jameson” on him on their first tryst.  Women who slept with men on the first date were once cast aside and never considered as long-term relationship material.  However, it is more accepted these days for a woman to have “notches on her belt,” for lack of a better phrase.  Modern men prefer experienced women and we aren’t easily deterred by a certain degree of sexual aggressiveness.

I look at it like this:  In 2013, I don’t think women should get so uptight about sex on the first date.  If she’s not rubbing on his crotch in the theater and playing footsies with his junk under the dinner table, then he won’t assume that she’s a hardcore freak looking for a meat injection.  If she carries herself like a lady, then she will be treated like one.  That’s the bottom line.

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Julie Zantopoulos

Vice President & Editor in Chief at The Indie Chicks
Julie is a lifelong writer, lover of music (the louder the better) and whiskey. She's a die Flyers fan and proud nerd for anything LOTR, SyFy or Young Adult Lit. She loves talking to all the contributors and readers so don't be shy about adding her or reaching out.
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