You’re nothing. She’s better. You don’t deserve him. You’re not good enough. You’re fat. You’re weak. Nice try, but everyone can see through you.
No matter the situation, there is an asshole who lives inside your head. Whether it’d be a voice telling you you’re ugly, or a voice telling you you’re weak, silence the asshole for good.
Why it’s there
This voice sounds a lot like every other sound buzzing in your head. It resembles the tone of mentally mapping out your to do list and can easily be mistaken for the voice of your subconscious. Take a deep breath of release, though – it’s only your biggest cheerleader who needs an attitude adjustment.
Just like the friend who doesn’t know how to pay a compliment without being condescending, the voice inside means well. Positive reinforcement and lovey-dovey Mommy Loves You works the majority of the time, but the truth is that the human mind is a lot more complicated and sometimes we need a kick in the ass to get us up and moving towards accomplishing our goals.
Embrace it… For what it is
Instead of taking things literally, embrace the voice for vocalizing the things you need to hear, but don’t give it all the weight in the final decision. There are times that, yes, you might have gained some weight and although you may be comfortable sitting on your ass, stuffing twinkies in your mouth, the truth is you could lose a few pounds.
When the asshole is telling you that you should have gotten that promotion and not the ass liking coworker, it’s the kick in the ass to do something about it. Whether you approach your boss for a reevaluation of your progress, or quit and find someone who appreciates your hard work, is up to you. Whatever you do, don’t take the voice telling you that she’s better than you literally, because 9 times out of 10, it’s not true. (And hey, if she’s working harder than you, GET TO WORK so you can get the next promotion!)
Accepting the voice as broadcasting what you ‘need’ to hear doesn’t necessarily mean the message itself is always clear. ‘You’re not worth it’ is a message that is never true. Instead, you should embrace the voice as saying you need to boost your self esteem because those words should never, ever, haunt you and if they’re there, something needs to be done to fix it.
Take the time, transform it, THEN silence it
As easy as it would be to live in a pink cloud, surrounded by butterflies, life is often dark, filled with shadows of doubt and negativity. Your job here isn’t to ignore the voice and live in a world of denial, rather, it’s to take control of the things the voice says and to more importantly, take control of the way you interpret them.
Do everything you can to turn ‘You can’t do it’ to ‘You can’t do it, PROVE ME WRONG’. Go through each ounce of doubt, each sentence of negativity, and transform it into a challenge. Take your time, make a list, and really get to the root of each statement; Why do I think I NEED him? He’s a cheater, a liar and an emotional abuser. Why do I feel like my work isn’t worthy? Am I not performing? Stop time and try to analyze things as rationally as possible.
Once you go through everything this asshole voice says trying to get you down, you will inevitably be left with a group of inexplicable piece of shit statements you won’t be able to target, transform, and interpret in any positive ‘challenge-like’ light. This is the group of things to silence.
It may seem hard at first because this list will obviously be the most painful to face. The truth is, while you’re busy conquering ever other negative vibe, you’ll feel stronger and more capable of hushing the inexplicable ones.
The truth about the voice
Much like most things in your life, you have more control over this voice than you know. It’s easy to listen and to become its slave without realizing it. It’s easy to hear negativity and to think it’d be easier to give up. Hey, what’s another fucking twinkie? I’ve already had 10.
Unfortunately, the longer you let is speak, the louder it will get, and the harder it’ll be to kick its ass. Remember you are strong and that life is about perception: you decide how you view things, no one is going to come rescue you from your sad situation. Get up and fix shit so you can look back and say, “You know what? I used to think I couldn’t do it, I used to think I was weak.. Well, I fucking proved myself wrong and I’m ready for whatever the world throws my way!”