Latest posts by Julie Zantopoulos (see all)
- How to Get What You Want - September 1, 2014
- Relationship Quick Tip #3: Sex Isn’t a Bargaining Tool - August 29, 2014
- Fuck the Naysayers - August 27, 2014
Resting Bitch Face Syndrome, or RBFS as some call it, is real and it’s ruining lives! It’s a term that I’ve heard a lot lately but surprisingly a lot of my friends haven’t and that clearly had to change. I’m here to spread awareness about Resting Bitch Syndrome and help you find your way to a cure. There is hope, there is a way out, and The Indie Chicks can help you.
What is Resting Bitch Face
Resting Bitch Face Syndrome is when somebody is relaxing, listening to another speak, driving, pushing a grocery cart, or otherwise mellow but their facial expression is semi-murderous. They look annoyed, angry , frustrated, irritated, or pissed. They look like their partner cheated on them, their dog shat on the floor or their kid puked on their boss at a company party when in reality they’re perfectly happy, they just happen to be a victim of Resting Bitch Face Syndrome.
The signs and symptoms of Resting Bitch Face Syndrome are varied. They can range from “Bitch, step off my man before I cut you” to “I’m PMS’ing and out of chocolate”. This person looks to be relaxing but their face says they’re ready to spring on you like an angry spider monkey and claw your face off. Also possible are arching of eyebrows, frowning, fidgeting and other signs of agitation.
Keep in mind that these are just facial expressions. The person isn’t actually angry and chances are you aren’t actually in any danger.
Thankfully Resting Bitch Face Syndrome is not contagious but it can prevent people from coming near you when you are around the Resting Bitch Face Syndrome sufferer.
In fact, when you are around somebody with Resting Bitch Face Syndrome chances are you will smile more to counteract their angry facial expressions and to try to subconsciously coach them to do the same.
Resting Bitch Face Syndrome is not a victimless illness; it will leave a trail of wounded people in its wake. Here are some situational side effects that you can expect to experience if you have Resting Bitch Face Syndrome.
Your boyfriend will probably not buy that you aren’t angry with him when you constantly look pissed. This will lead to him asking you if you are okay over and over again. He won’t trust you when you say that nothing is wrong. You’ll get frustrated and eventually you’ll snap and tell him every little thing that annoys you. A blow up will ensue and there goes that relationship all because you have Resting Bitch Face Syndrome.
Kiss Your Friends Goodbye
Your bestie may know about your Resting Bitch Face but your new co-worker, gym pals, or dog park buddies certainly don’t. Your Resting Bitch Face says “Go the hell away” and eventually they’re going to stop trying to talk to you and do just that.
His Friends Will Never Like You
Do you know what kind of a first impression Resting Bitch Face Syndrome gives off? Not a good one. His friends are already skeptical of the new chick coming in after his totally psycho ex and then in you come with your angry face every time you turn off your saccharine smile.
The problem is that Resting Bitch Face Syndrome pops up when you don’t want it to. For example, out at a bar when you’re trying to meet guys. Resting Bitch Face will kill your chances of hooking up faster than you can say, “I have a 4 cats and enjoy knitting in my free time.” He wants to send you the drink and come over to talk to you but he’s terrified that you’ll open your mouth and tell him that your grandpa just passed away. Resting Bitch Face is a real killer when it comes to meeting people out on the town.
Luckily there is hope for those with Resting Bitch Face Syndrome. Life doesn’t have to be spent scaring people off before you even open your mouth. With a little training and some intervention from your friends you can lead a life of smiles and friendly hello’s.
Simple, right? Well, yes if you practice a bit. Spend a little time in front of the mirror and practice with small adjustments to your face. You don’t want to have a huge Joker like grin on your face all the time but you can manage to throw a smile in when appropriate.
Tip: To look like you mean it try smiling without teeth. Nobody shows teeth all the time.
Bonus: Too lazy to actually smile? Invest in bronzer and highlighters and use makeup to make people think you’re smiling by contouring and highlighting the apples of your cheeks.
This one doesn’t require quite as much work as the smile. All you have to do is raise one corner of your mouth for heaven’s sake. It says “I’m confident, a little sassy, maybe sarcastic, but certainly not angry.” That’s definitely an improvement of your prior Resting Bitch Face symptoms.
Tip: Pretend you are laughing about something in your head (or remembering a steamy make out session) and the smirk takes on a less ‘snarky’ vibe.
Bonus: Guys might see this confident smirk as a challenge and all guys love a challenge. Your “go away” instantly turned into a “come hither”.
Looking lost in thought makes you look like you’re ignoring everyone around you but at least you don’t look angry about it! Rude is a lot easier to forgive than somebody with a murderous resting facial expression. People can usually respect an “aha” think tank moment and give you your space, happily.
Tip: Try to consciously relax your face muscles while you “think” or you’ll just look constipated.
Bonus: While you may come off as a little distant your boss and coworkers will always think you’re hard at work! Winning.
What’s important to remember is that there is a cure for Resting Bitch Face Syndrome but first you have to recognize the symptoms. Accepting your Resting Bitch Face is the first step to fixing it. If you know somebody who has Resting Bitch Face Syndrome, the key to their happiness may be in you stepping in with an intervention.
Kill Resting Bitch Face Syndrome, with a smile!