love yourself

Love Yourself to Make Them Love You

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Chiara Mazzucco

CEO, Editor-in-Chief at The Indie Chicks, Inc
Chiara got her start in the blogosphere by dishing out reality slaps on her dating and relationship blog. The brutal honesty that became her signature tone earned her the badass reputation she needed to get The Indie Chicks magazine up and running. She is also a web designer and author of The 9 Mirages of Love. Driven, stubborn, and wildly ambitious, she won’t stop until she is the perfect, self-empowered role model for all of her readers.

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You’ve heard it before and now it’s time to make it happen. Going through the one life you have to just end it with nothing but regret is a waste of a wonderful life. We’re started The Indie Chicks to inspire you to achieve the life you’ve always dreamed of. But there’s more to life than work, love, sex and friendships; there’s looking in the mirror and being proud of the person you are. Because without it, none of the other things would be possible. But let’s tackle one thing at a time: does hunting down the Perfect You have anything to do with your love life? Does ‘love yourself’ have anything to do with the rest of your life?

It has everything to do with it. 

1. You don’t like your body

Every time you walk by the mirror, you hate what you see. You stop time to pinpoint the growing muffin top and the depth of each cellulite dimple. You see dry, flaky skin and dark circles under your eyes. You scream hatred as you try fitting into your old jeans. How are you supposed to feel good in bed with someone you’re trying to turn on if you can’t turn yourself on to begin with? The sex sucks. And if you don’t think it sucks, then you have no idea how good it can be.


The only way to do it is to get up and go. Throw out junk food and sign up at the gym – it’s an investment worthy of your hard work. When you say the gym is too expensive, consider the money you’ve wasted on fast food, movie tickets, and fat pants for bloated days. It’s never too late to start and you’ll feel progress within minutes (and see it in a few short weeks). Once you get on a roll, your lover (or one night stand) won’t know what hit him. Hello sex kitten.

2. You’re jealous of other girls

When you get down on yourself for everything you don’t have (or have too much of) your instinct is to compare yourself to other women. Ask yourself this: does being envious and negative get you any closer to being like them? Being jealous and lame towards other girls is one of the most unattractive qualities a woman can have. The more you accuse a guy of being into another girl, the more he’ll think he is.


Instead of bitching about another girl, study her (like in 12 Things to Do in 2012) Creepy? A little. Effective? Abso-fuckin-lutely. Study what it is about her that you wish you had. And unless you’re envious of her race (or something completely unchangeable) know that the goal is within reach. Analyze it and do it.. and strive to be better. 

Ugh, she’s so happy all the time. She’s so nice, it’s disgustingly addictive. Why is everyone obsessed with being around her jolly ass?

Because, happiness is contagious. People will choose to be around it 364 days a year, and opt for Ms. Pessimistic the one (or few) times they’re having a shitty day.

Ugh she’s so skinny and her make up is always super done. I’m totally jelly of her tight butt. Guys can’t take their eyes off of her!

You’re probably saying this as you stuff your face with ice cream and pizza. Get your fat ass up and get moving. Open up a credit card and splurge on some make up- get a pro to teach you the basics at any local mall.

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  • GrafittiCouture

    What a wise woman , the variety in which you write is simply refreshing , like an ice cold beer on a hot summer day ! I can truly appreciate everything you mentioned and I agree with you , I love that you use the word , “jelly” I say that all the time , lol . I say if your not happy with your life in the present , you must make changes to ensure a happy future. For instance me , I am def getting off my butt and getting back into my workout regimen beginning now , not gonna wait to the new year to start fresh , I wanna get to 2013 10lbs lighter . Thank You I needed this good read tonight ! Loving these kick your ass in gear motivational posts , revived , woohoo :)

  • Gem

    Best. Article. Ever! ;) And EXATLY what I needed to hear! So thank you!!!

    • Chiara

      You’re welcome, Gem!

  • Beverly Kelley Jeter

    I think it would be good if we could stop comparing ourselves to others period.
    Believe me woman are much harder on themselves and their physical appearance then men are in general. Confidence is very sexy.(if you don’t feel confident,fake it until you do) It’s all about being the best YOU you can be. Health is more important then having a perfect looking body(whatever that is). That includes eating right and exercise. Showing some intelligence and able to hold a decent conversation are also good things.
    With all of that being said,some of us will never be skinny,and that’s fine. Believe me,skinny girls do not get all of the attention.