iturnenvy

Be Bold and Beautiful – It’s Okay

Follow on Bloglovin
Pinterest

Chiara Mazzucco

CEO, Editor-in-Chief at The Indie Chicks, Inc
Chiara got her start in the blogosphere by dishing out reality slaps on her dating and relationship blog. The brutal honesty that became her signature tone earned her the badass reputation she needed to get The Indie Chicks magazine up and running. She is also a web designer and author of The 9 Mirages of Love. Driven, stubborn, and wildly ambitious, she won’t stop until she is the perfect, self-empowered role model for all of her readers.

Latest posts by Chiara Mazzucco (see all)

We talk about self esteem a lot here: knowing your worth,self esteem reinvention, and dealing with the asshole living inside your head. We talk about needing to believe in ourselves, love ourselves, and find ourselves worthy of improvement. There is, however, one touchy subject we haven’t really played with yet: being scared to be bold and beautiful because of what others may think or say about you.

I have a naturally outgoing personality and I am a very outspoken individual. Yes, I have had issues with authority. I’m also considered to be a fairly attractive young woman. That’s right, I said it. Go ahead and call the conceit train.. CHOO CHOO.

The truth is, when I was younger, my battle wasn’t really to become prettier (although I had my fair share of beauty lessons like not shaping my eye brows like horse shoes and not cutting my own bangs – things I did for up until my freshman year in high school)… it was to blend in more, because when the boys like you, you become a target. 

‘But OMG, at least boys liked you! I hid in my closet with a side pony tail my entire adolescence” 

Right. What I would have given to tie my hair to the side and sit in darkness instead of showing up at school, having my life threatened, tuna sandwiches thrown at my head and hit with ridiculous pieces of gossip every morning, claiming I had given 10 guys blow-jobs at the same exact time. Physically impossible? Apparently not, according to my entire school. 

Unfortunately, though the days of being bullied are far behind me, I had to go through a lot on my path of self discovery to accept being ‘attractive’ and to voice my opinion without fear of being ridiculed. I had to keep my tone steady when standing up for something I believed in and had to keep my chest out, even if my boobs showed more.

So yes, pretty people get bullied, too. (And we’ll be devoting a lot of time to girl on girl hate)

Anyway, onward to the point of this article.

As grown ups, the path to self discovery doesn’t end – it’s just a new, just-as-bumpy road we have yet to track miles on. You are still trying to become someone; whether it’d be in the workplace, on the scale, or to your brand new lover, we are all still trying to improve. Don’t let others limit your experimentation as you go down this road.

You want to test out some crazy new make up, add some fake lashes and perhaps even show a bit of side boob?

As long as you’re doing it for YOU, rather to get some sort of reaction from those around you, then go ahead and fucking do it. You owe it to yourself, correction, to your younger self, to be bold.

Define the lines before you set sail.

Showing a little bit of boob is different than having your tits out. Letting go of the fear that women will hate you because their men are looking at your little bit of boob is different than plopping them on the dinner table while sucking on a banana.

You’re not doing this for them, you’re doing this for you.

As long as you stay true to who you are and your journey, don’t be ashamed of standing out, of stepping on anyone’s toes.. and for ONE time being the object of a friend’s boyfriend’s masturbation party.

When I was younger, I decided to hide who I was and the young woman I was becoming because I didn’t want other girls to dislike me and say bad things about me.

The truth is, I should have been devoting that time to accepting who I was, being true to my path, and building the armor of self esteem I would need for the rest of my life – not just 7th grade.

Get 13 more tips from Chiara on being bold in our special print edition

Follow on Bloglovin
Pinterest
  • http://accordingtojewels.com/ AccordingtoJewels

    Love love love. I wasn’t naive enough to think pretty girls aren’t bullied but when you are the overweight and every guys friend instead of girlfriend…well it’s hard to see past your own pain at that age. #stopgirlongirlhate is right! Love that hash tag and love you!!!

  • http://ctam28.blogspot.com CrazyTragicAlmostMagic

    Chiara, I love this. I was lucky. I was never teased or bullied. You’d think with a name like mine I would have been, but again, I was lucky. So many women don’t believe in themselves and embrace themselves for fear of what other women will think of them. We need to stop putting each other down and instead build each other up. So what if Marlene’s boobs are bigger, or if all the guys seem to be interested in Monica. I have my own gifts and talents.

  • http://www.accordingtojewels.com Jewels

    I JUST saw this article a couple hours ago and wanted to link to it for everyone. This is a prime example of why we NEED to #stopgirlongirlhate!

    http://gawker.com/5954977/slut+shamed-staten-island-teen-tweets-i-give-up-before-jumping-in-front-of-subway-train

    This is NOT okay.

  • http://justmewith.com Roxanne

    I was bullied too, rumors spread about all the guys I was doing when I wasn’t, had never, done anyone. It came from boys and girls in different ways, but it was because I was different and I’ll say it too– pretty — and successful in school — smart. I had things thrown at me, too, insults, rumors and pennies (they hurt like hell). Anyway, I still carry emotional scars from that crap. I still did what I wanted, but I feared having my name on any kind of list or poster, because of what the kids would write next to it. I guess that explains why I get a bit anxious at first when I see that I’ve gotten a comment on my blog. Though I’m happy that people read what I write, the 13-through 18-year-old in me is still afraid of what people will write about me, because of the haters I had all those years ago. Whatever.

  • http://weezafish.blogspot.com/ WeezaFish

    Can I tell you how much I love you every time I comment, or is that a little weird?! “Letting go of the fear that women will hate you because their men are looking at your little bit of boob is different than plopping them on the dinner table while sucking on a banana.” Totally floored me man! Took me a full five minutes to compose myself enough to sit back at my desk and comment. WHY do girls do this? Because of their own insecurities, see how daft that is? Some girls attack each other when in fact, if they got together and shared their experiences they’d realise they’re all going through the same shite. What a great idea for a website, a community of sharing non back-stabbing women … oh, look where we are :) I remember once at school being shouldered by an older girl while she muttered “slut” at me. I was barely 13 and hadn’t even got past snogging yet! She fancied the son of a really good friend of my MUMS and was jealous that we all got to spend time together in the school holidays. So I was “SLUT!” every time she saw me for about two years of High School. WTF??!! I thought the guy was a jerk myself.

  • Pingback: Accept Yourself - You're All You've Got - The Indie Chicks