Life is one big ego-slashing clusterfuck, isn’t it? Not only does the media constantly bombard your ego with the world’s idea of perfection, but you also get to endure the same beating in the safety of your own private life. Whether it’d be a shitty ex lover, a shittier current lover, a competitive friend, or a condescending parent, your self esteem is always at risk. How should you deal?
1. Clean up
Call me superficial, but there’s no way you can begin a self-esteem make over looking like a goblin. Ever heard the saying “The first step to feeling good is looking good”? Well, apply it and invest in your appearance. Ladies, check out the How to Be Sexy article… (Gentlemen, there’s one for you, too). Get out of bed – early, not at noon-, take a shower, groom up your nether regions – even if they’ve been vacant for a while – and put something on that makes you feel good. What may seem like a temporary illusion is actually a strong base for your self esteem do-over.
2. Find your gem
Before dealing with the ego poisons inhabiting your life, it’s important to gather up amo. What are you good at? What do you LOVE to do? If you’re hunched over like Notre Dame, creepily whispering the word ‘nothing’, slap yourself in the face. Everyone is good at something and everyone has something they enjoy doing. When you’re down in the dumps, you might not see that something as an AWESOME, mood lifting activity… but it’ll still be something you mindlessly don’t mind doing. Even tweeting is something to jot down – there’s a whole career for that, didn’t you know? Find what it is that quiets your mind, or awakens it, and do it… twice.
3. Life sweep
You’re looking good and feeling good – even if only temporarily. It’s time to get rid of the toxicity in your life. This is the hardest thing to do. In fact, I plan on writing an entire seperate article on it. Find what it is that is feeding your low self esteem and get rid of it. Do you have an asshole boss? Quit. But in THIS economy? Yes. Your emotional sanity is more important. Are you in an abusive relationship? Break up. But I’m in love! I’ll let my book address that issue. Condescending parents? Take a break while you gather your independence.
I know it seems ridiculous but there’s a good chance your issues with self worth will come to a complete halt the second you remove the splinter causing them.
4. Build your own mirror
Some people believe we are born with our story already written. Others, like myself, believe in the theory of a blank slate. You make your own life. Once you’re looking good, doing good, and finally able to breathe, it’s time for some reinvention. Does this mean you become a completely different individual? Not necessarily.
Sit in front of the mirror and stare; cry if you have to (actually… try to cry.) Now close your eyes and let your imagination fly. What do you wish you were like? Play around with different combinations and create your ideal character. This can be anything from “I wish I could be more outgoing” to “I wish I could start over” to “I wish I didn’t hate myself.” Make the list and don’t leave anything out; let your inner child loose.
5. Prepare for battle
First of all, grab a pen and begin drafting a plan. Studies have shown this works to calm anxiety and actually get shit done. Make this step by step a realistic plan to get to where you want to be. If you’re clueless, ask a friend to help. Don’t have friends? Email me. I’ll help.
And secondly, be your own best friend. Every morning, be corny and tell yourself what you want to hear. After a while, your brain won’t know where the compliments are coming from and it’ll react the same way it would if you had a crowd chanting them. At first it’ll be hard, but I promise… it’ll get easier.
I’ll be writing an article on the Law of Attraction, soon. You’ll be amazed at what science has proven to be the power of positive thinking.
It’s an Epidemic
You think you’re the only one with shit self-esteem? You’re wrong. We all face the same issues in different disguises. But dealing with these issues is important for all of us. Being your own best friend is important in life; no one is guaranteed to be around forever. There’ll be times that no one will be around to brush your hair and call you ‘worth it.’ You’re going to have to do it yourself. These 5 things are minuscule compared to the work that needs to be done; but they’re a start.
It’s not about reinventing yourself to be someone you no longer recognize. It’s about taking control of your life and making it what you’ve always dreamed it to be. In the process of exploring your dreams, you’ll come to realize there’s a lot of beauty already there.. you just have to acknowledge it.
Want 15 ways to boost your self esteem? They’re all laid out for you in our special print edition.