I used to sit outside the restaurant I worked at in West Hollywood, and stare at people walking by, wondering what they were like. Do you eat meat? Are you an alcoholic? Do you laugh with your mouth open or closed? Are you into True Blood or Twilight vampires? Endless questions circling my busy mind, and still, no matter how hard I tried to put pieces together, I was never quite good at nailing the type of person I was observing. Are you a hard-working 9-5er, a college graduate, a trust-fund baby, a passionate artist, or an alien?
Because, you see, there are different breeds of people. I’m not talking about black, brown, or beige; gay, whore, or sober; well bred, inbred, or savage. I am talking about different breeds that when put into the same room they speak completely different languages, even when everyone is only speaking English. Most of the time – and this usually happens in January when we’re making New Year Resolutions – we’re able to flip flop from one breed to another. So it’s only fair for me to ask, this year, what breed will you be?
11 Breeds of People
The Delusional Dreamer
The Delusional Dreamer dives in head first, without ever giving thought to what she’s diving into. She believes you should go after what you want, no matter what. While her seemingly courageous and imagination-filled ways are an inspiration to those around her, she rarely considers the consequences of her actions and usually ends up making bad decisions that result in more trouble than success.
The Stubborn Realist
The Stubborn Realist is the Debbie Downer who shatters the hopes of those with dreams – i.e. the delusional dreamers. The realist believes that if you plan on chasing your dreams, you must not only have a plan b as back-up, but also a plan c, a plan d, and a plan e (for safe measure). While being a realist usually ensures a stable bank account, this breed of people is usually confined to living a certain way of life, filled with limitations, boundaries, and often times, sadness.
The Blind Follower
The Blind Follower is the one who follows blindly. She lacks a sense of ownership over her life’s decisions and relies on blind faith in those she trusts or admires to make the decisions for her. Though her life is more worry free than, say, someone who allows herself to know the world around her, she makes most decisions out of ignorance and will never know the thrill of paving her own path.
The Happy Optimist
The Happy Optimist is always smiling and much like the delusional dreamer, she lives in a world of positive outcomes and inexistent harsh realities. She sees the good in everything and banks on success, each and every time. Though she’s pleasant to be with, the world’s natural slice of darkness often slaps her in the face when she never sees it coming. In a way, her drive is somewhat stunted because never seeing the glass half empty keeps her from getting up to get some more damn water.