howtobecool

The Cool Factor

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Chiara Mazzucco

CEO, Editor-in-Chief at The Indie Chicks, Inc
Chiara got her start in the blogosphere by dishing out reality slaps on her dating and relationship blog. The brutal honesty that became her signature tone earned her the badass reputation she needed to get The Indie Chicks magazine up and running. She is also a web designer and author of The 9 Mirages of Love. Driven, stubborn, and wildly ambitious, she won’t stop until she is the perfect, self-empowered role model for all of her readers.

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It’s that guy, the one sitting at the bar with a pen in his ear, talking animatedly to the bartender about the history of Rock N’ Roll. And the girl who pulls up to the cafe every morning on her motorcycle, the one whose tattoos tell a story of the many lives she lived in Thailand. It’s even the crazy old man with the deep, raspy voice who’s always the most passionate drummer at Tuesday’s drum circle, and the Mom who leads the PTA meetings, who sometimes says the word shit. Cool is Marlon Brando, Angelina Jolie, James Dean and Don Draper, but it’s also the girl you went to high school with and the boy you always admired from a far. Because to be cool, one must have the cool factor, and all these people have it. Question is, what the fuck is it?

How do you define cool? Is it a fashion style? Expertise in a specific field? An inexplicable air to one’s ways?

I polled my Facebook friends, the way I often do before an article, and asked what their definition of cool was. I got so many responses that their collective answer was clear: cool is a subjective term. And while on a very fundamental level I agree, I’m here to smash that theory to the ground and offer an actual formula for what comprises cool.

The Basic Formula

There are two set variables that make up the equation. Without either one, the formula crumbles. Both variables are coveted not only because are they appealing to have, but because they’re also hard to attain, especially simultaneously, which is why not everyone can be cool. 

Variable 1: Confidence

To be cool, you must be confident. Whether you’re the extrovert, center of attention, high fiving everyone at a party or the mysterious guitar player who never speaks to anyone other than himself, confidence is always present in the face of cool.

On that Facebook poll, someone mentioned cool being the ability to walk to the beat of ones own drum – and no matter what beat that is, the act itself requires confidence. For those who relate the term cool to a fashionable statement – again, it being subjective – personal style has a lot more to do with how you wear something than it does what you wear.

It’s not so much that cool people don’t care what others think of them – cause like the rest of us, many often do. It’s more like they are able to hide that vulnerability and show the opposite to all who perceive their existence.

Variable 2: The Most Important Variable

.. is prestige.

A friend of mine told me I was cool the other day. I disagreed and he went on to reassure me that I was and that I had the ‘cool’ factor. When I said, “It just seems that way,” he responded, “Exactly.”

pres·tige presˈtēZH-ˈtēj noun – widespread respect and admiration felt for someone or something on the basis of a perception of their achievements or quality.

And this brings up the fundamental aspect of the term, because to be considered cool, you must be admired. Cool is a label that can only be placed on you by someone else. You can call yourself cool in the bathroom mirror all you want, contrary to popular belief, it doesn’t actually make you cool.

This admiration, as per the definition, is based on perception. It’s about how others perceive you and when someone sees someone else think you’re cool, much like social proof, they do too. It’s about they derive from their assumptions of you as an individual.

It’s about what you show them and what you make them believe.

Because without someone thinking you’re cool, cool does not exist. 

The Cool Factor Condiments

This is where subjectivity comes in. What do you put on your salad?

Though confidence and prestige are at the base of every opinion of cool, there is still something to be said about that Facebook poll. What you admire may be different than what I admire.

For example, I happen to think mystery is cool. I like confidence tiptoeing on the line of arrogance. I also like tattoos, expertise and life experience.

But what’s your definition of cool? Add it to the comments below and let’s get a discussion going.

Meet your inner badass and tap into your ‘cool factor’ by reading our special print edition

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  • http://susanneisme.blogspot.nl/ Susanne V.

    I think being ‘cool’ is being yourself & being proud of who you are and when other people notice that. Glowing of self-confidence makes someone ‘cool’.

    • Jewels

      I agree with you, Susanne. Self confidence is sexy and therefore comes off “cool”.

    • http://theindiechicks.com/ Chiara Mazzucco

      Absolutely on point, Susanne. Self confidence is an absolute must.

  • Jewels

    Cool to me is somebody who is confident (without being cocky), knows a lot about a random subject most people don’t, who doesn’t break others down to get ahead, and that magnetic well spoken air that brings people to circle around you.

    • http://theindiechicks.com/ Chiara Mazzucco

      That DOES sound cool… Magnetic, well spoken air… It’s an inexplicable draw.

  • http://joannerambling.wordpress.com/ Jo-Anne

    It isn’t easy to be confident without being cocky well not the confident people I know they are over confident and as cocky as hell……………..

    • http://theindiechicks.com/ Chiara Mazzucco

      But there’s a difference between the two, Jo-Anne. Cocky, aka arrogance, is shoved in people’s faces. Confidence is magnetic and is deducted by the other person. Get some new friends!

  • Renee Jean Claybion

    Being cool is definitely a matter of confidence! I’ve never thought of myself as cool but I do consider my self to be confident. I would walk around high school in my pajama bottoms, hair undone and owned it. Why? Because why not? After about a month, everyone was wearing PJ’s. I don’t say this to toot my own horn because at the time I thought nothing of it. It wasn’t until recently that a friend mentioned how much another of our mutual friends admired me and has apparently always wanted to be closer to me. I found it funny as I think of this person as the epitome of cool, but there it is, its that confidence that perhaps I have that she doesn’t in some small aspect. Being cool is every evolving.. great piece love. XX

    • http://theindiechicks.com/ Chiara Mazzucco

      I definitely think you’re cool.. and can vouch for the PJ bottoms and messy hair. Fucking rocked it then and still rock a glorified adult version now. I’ve always admired you, pft, thank god I could be like, “It’s no thang, she’s my bestie.”

  • Stacey

    I think cool people are confidence yes, but also smart, self-aware, able to tackle adversity without adding “drama” and in the end, they offer a gracious compassion toward others… in other words, with all of those other attributes, they are not arrogant nor put others down.

  • Denise Baer

    Great article! Cool is defined by stages in life. What I thought was cool in my 20′s is no longer cool.

    When I was younger, I liked the badness of people–the ones who rode the line but never crossed over into crazy land. I liked the men who were confident, teetering on arrogance, who drew the eye to them when they came into view.

    Now I think cool is intelligence and inner beauty. Someone comfortable with themselves. Cool is living YOUR life, and not living through anyone else’s life, including celebrity obsession. Cool is following dreams even if it means taking risks. Cool is showing emotion without worrying about what everyone else thinks.