how to start being happy

How to Start Being Happier

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Chiara Mazzucco

CEO, Editor-in-Chief at The Indie Chicks, Inc
Chiara got her start in the blogosphere by dishing out reality slaps on her dating and relationship blog. The brutal honesty that became her signature tone earned her the badass reputation she needed to get The Indie Chicks magazine up and running. She is also a web designer and author of The 9 Mirages of Love. Driven, stubborn, and wildly ambitious, she won’t stop until she is the perfect, self-empowered role model for all of her readers.

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You know that at one point, you were happy happier. At one point, you woke up, sober, ready to face the day, happy to call your friends and confident that the person you were with was the right person for you. What the fuck happened? This mega article isn’t for the clinically depressed— it can be though— it’s mostly for the every day, average Joe, unable to pinpoint what it is sucking the joy out of her “today”. Well, there’s only one place to start the hunt: Get rid of the toxicity in your life.

How to Start Being Happier: Identify the Culprit

Below is a short list of common sources of toxicity; mini, fire-breathing dragons you will have to slay in order to begin your journey.

How to Start Being Happier: Detoxify

A Shitty Partner

The #1 root of toxicity. A toxic partner feeds off of your need for his presence. The more you become dependent, the more he manipulates, the more toxic the relationship gets. It’s a vicious cycle that slowly poisons you to an early, weakly death. You know the signs (hello – I wrote an entire book on the subject), the scary part is coming to terms with the fact the relationship you’re in is killing you.

Be Happier

Leave. Clinginess, possessive behavior, verbal and/or physical abuse, and other hazardous behaviors have no place in a healthy, blooming relationship. Although you may want to believe there is hope for change, there usually isn’t. The only way to detox is to walk away and never look back.

A Shitty Friend

Often overlooked, but almost always the culprit (besides, of course, the shitty partner). Friends are supposed to be your backbone; your strength when you’re weak and happiness when you’re sad. No one wants to believe these so-called saviors are poisons in disguise—but unfortunately, they usually are. Whether the person in question is a bad influencer, or just a shitty, manipulative individual, getting rid of a shitty friend is a crucial step to detoxification.

Be Happier

End it. Ever heard the phrase, “Twenty knives don’t do me any good when all I need is one spoon”? Point is, it doesn’t matter how many shitty friends you have, you just need one good one. Friends are magical, vital components to a happier life—but they have to be real. And if this site has taught you anything, I hope that by now you know you don’t have the power to change people. Learn to identify a bad friend, and just like in a dating relationship, don’t be afraid to walk away and be alone for a while; it is so much better than being with a shit.

A Shitty Family Member

Although some might argue this, it’s sometimes easier to walk away from a shitty boyfriend than it is a family member. Blood brings about an annoying sense of obligation; a “you really need to try to make it work” kind of feel. I mean, you need to be sure something is worth cutting off ties and potentially ruining holiday functions for. It’s precisely that “unbreakable” bond, however, that makes a toxic family member that much more toxic.

Be Happier

Take a deep breath and distance yourself. Cutting off ties may be hard for your specific situation, but you still have to look out for yourself, no matter the amount of family functions coming up. Calmly explain your need for a break to the rest of your family, ask them to respect your decision and move on accordingly. Blood is definitely thicker than water, but it doesn’t take precedence over your own happiness and mental health.

keep reading for more happiness killers & solutions

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  • http://dotnetmeditations.com/ Jon

    If I may add to the bad food one – I’ve found Summer Tomato to be an invaluable resource on eating less processed foods.

    • http://theindiechicks.com/ Chiara Mazzucco

      Thanks for sharing, Jon! Looks great.

  • http://joannerambling.wordpress.com/ Jo-Anne

    I am lucky that generally speaking I am one happy woman