bitter bitch

7 Steps to Stop Being a Bitter Bitch

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Chiara Mazzucco

CEO, Editor-in-Chief at The Indie Chicks, Inc
Chiara got her start in the blogosphere by dishing out reality slaps on her dating and relationship blog. The brutal honesty that became her signature tone earned her the badass reputation she needed to get The Indie Chicks magazine up and running. She is also a web designer and author of The 9 Mirages of Love. Driven, stubborn, and wildly ambitious, she won’t stop until she is the perfect, self-empowered role model for all of her readers.

There are three types of women that no one likes: a bitter bitch, a psycho girlfriend and a crazy cat lady. While the crazy cat lady is still up in the air, we’ve already dealt with being a psycho girlfriend, which means the time has come to deal with the bitter bitches. Cause no one likes a bitter bitch. 

Being bitter is funny, isn’t it? You get to make rude remarks, justify coming close to alcohol poisoning, and best of all, you get to dive into a lifestyle and stick to it, because guess what? You’re bitter and everyone needs to be okay with it, especially cause they’re laughing at you and egging you on. 

But while you’re having fun posting your Rotten eCards on Facebook and making loud, obscene remarks about the ex who left you for your secretary, the people around you are slightly burned out and are likely putting on a face of support they’re getting tired of wearing.

So how about you pull your shit together and stop being a bitter bitch?

Take the following 7 steps now:

1. Realize it takes time

First step to fixing the bitterness is realizing that healing takes time. No one wakes up the next day singing, “Rise and shine! I love me some butterflies and unicorns!” You have to look at your tomorrow’s are realistic, no matter how optimistic your approach is. Because the secret here is acknowledging that it’s going to be a rough ride, and  yet still embarking on the journey. 

2. Find out exactly what you’re bitter about

This is easier in certain situations than it is in others. But it’s never impossible. Did your ex screw you over? If so, beyond the obvious heartache and pain that caused, is there something deeper that’s attacking your soul? Maybe it was with a friend of yours, or perhaps he fucked you over after you have just taken him back from his last screw up. Was it betrayal? 

Did your office rival get the position you were killing yourself over? Was it anything more than just that promotion? Maybe you knew of foul play or that she barely lifted a finger to get that presentation finished. Was it jealousy?

Get as detailed as possible and try to narrow it down an actual emotion.

3. Elaborate on that emotion

Sometimes the root of the bitterness is really not that obvious but reaching the resulting emotion can give oodles of clues as to why your pain has turned into bitter-bitchiness. Emotions have opposite emotions. So when you’re able to focus on the core of the bitterness, you’re able to see the opposing emotion as the goal and end all cure to your angry little heart.

I know this process is a pain in the ass and the last thing your bitter heart wants to be doing is rehashing these details, but trust me when I say, you have to in order to move the hell on. 

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  • Jewels

    I’ve definitely been a bitter bitch over a lot in my lifetime. Mostly it was a wasted emotion over things I couldn’t control. It was when things were outside my control that I’d get most angry. For example: A family member or friend not reacting to something the way I wanted them to or supporting me the way I wished they would. I would get so bitter when really, it’s totally outside my control and I needed to let it go. I think I get a lot less bitter now and if I do I get over it and move on a LOT faster. Perspective. I know I say it a lot but perspective is my lifesaver.

    • http://theindiechicks.com/ Chiara Mazzucco

      It seems so much easier said than done, I know. I think you hit the nail on the head, the hardest part about it is realizing what you have and do not have control over. Most of the things that we don’t have control over are the ones to trigger bitterness! And we’ve all been there. It’s just sooo important to grab a hold of that perspective.

  • http://joannerambling.wordpress.com/ Jo-Anne

    Thankfully I am not a bitter bitch, we leave that to my sister Sue……………..lol Damn we do a lot of Sue jokes in my family, it is a good thing she doesn’t read these blogs to know how often I do a Sue joke online………….

    • http://theindiechicks.com/ Chiara Mazzucco

      Aw, Jo-Anne! HAHA

      What if she’s saying the same thing about you?! lol

  • http://lizardhappy.com/ Mynx

    Being bitter really takes up too much energy that could be used in more productive ways.
    It isnt easy to let go but it is important to just move on.

    • http://theindiechicks.com/ Chiara Mazzucco

      Definitely agree.. It’s a lot easier said than done but that doesn’t make it any less necessary. Imagine all the art one could create!