Latest posts by Chrystal Rose (see all)
- Understanding Domestic Violence - October 28, 2014
- Reconnecting with Girlfriends - October 21, 2014
- Trim the Fat From Your Mind, and the Pounds Will Follow - October 14, 2014
I’m one of those people that tend to post a large amount of inspirational quotes and memes on my Facebook page. If you know me, you know that I’m not posting them as a veil, I really am that annoyingly optimistic and positive. Not only do I put them out there for others to enjoy but I feel like the messages tend to stick a bit harder when I take the time to post them. The other day I posted a meme called “7 Cardinal Rules For Life” and it seemed to really resonate with my followers. So I decided to write a piece about how I employ each of these cardinal rules in my own life. Hopefully, it’ll inspire you to live by them as well!
My 7 Cardinal Rules For Life
1. Make peace with your past, so it won’t disturb your present.
How many times have the shitty things that happened to you in your past affected a present day decision? Trust issues, fear of commitment, neediness, insecurities, resentment, passive aggressiveness… They all stem from the past, and trample all over your future.
If you’ve had a “rough life” or a “rough childhood” you are not alone. The majority of us have had fucked up pasts, in fact if you’ve sailed through without a scratch—you my friend, are in a lucky minority.
People who have heard even just bits and pieces of my story have asked me, “How are you not a drug addict/prostitute/loser/etc??” It’s one of my personal rules for life: I refuse to be. I refuse to let what happened to me in the past dictate my future. I’ve made peace with my past, because it wasn’t something I could control, or I can’t change now, but I can certainly control what I do in the present.
2. What other people think of you, is none of your business.
Ohhh myyy gaaawwwd. How awful is it when you know someone doesn’t like you and you don’t know why? Or when someone thinks all these awful things about you that aren’t true? Obviously, you want to set them straight!
That’s not your job. Their thoughts aren’t your concern. Yes, other people’s opinion of you can certainly prevent you from moving forward if they’re in a position of power, but if you’re doing what you need to do for you and you like yourself—well then their opinion doesn’t matter then, does it?
When I was 15, I would walk the halls of my high school where people would scream terms of endearment such as, “Whore!” and “Slut!” at me. I was a virgin, so I knew what they were saying was false and I didn’t care. Not caring what others think about me is an essential one of my rules for life.
It also took me close to 20 years for my own family to see me for who I really am. My own family. I can’t even begin to describe the hurt and pain that entails. I have an undying dedication to being me, to being real. I never wanted to “fake my way” and bullshit people. I decided that being me is who I am, and others will eventually see what’s in my heart, I just have to keep being consistent.
Other people’s thoughts about you are a reflection of them, not you.
3. Time heals almost everything. Give it time.
When they said “time heals all wounds” they weren’t kidding. While time doesn’t necessarily make the wound go away, it makes it easier to live with the scars. Not only does time put distance between you and whatever happened, but it also allows you to work on yourself in the process.
Time is a beautiful thing. Pain dissipates over time, so does anger.
One of the points I love most in the “100 Things I’d Tell My 16-Year-Old Self” was that whatever you think matters now, or is terrible now– won’t matter as much, if at all, later. Problems can seem like the end of the world when you’re young (and when you’re older), almost always you look back and think, “Hmm, that doesn’t matter to me at all now.”