When is it the right time to have sex? Do you wait for a 3 month mark or hold out until marriage? Many of us are stuck in a worry limbo: if you do it too soon, he might lose respect for you, but if you hold out too long, he might gravitate towards someone else. Having sex with someone new should be a fun, exciting, weight-free situation. If you find yourself wondering,”Am I ready to bone?” Read on.
First Thing’s First: Are You Ready to Have Sex?
What you do in your relationship is your business; anyone trying to judge you can shove it. That said, you need to mute out the rest of the world and look deep within yourself and your sweet, aching lady parts. Are you ready to take it there?
How to Tell If You’re Ready:
- The thought of shagging him gives you the vagina tingles. Note: Just shagging him, not the entire male population.
- You catch yourself doing sexy dances in front of the mirror.
- You keep saying the words, “We should slow down.”
- You’re not doing it to get over a serious relationship. Note: I say serious because sometimes, a little rebounding does the body good… but when you’re trying to mask a broken heart, it’ll only shatter it into a million more pieces.
How to Tell You’re Not Ready:
- You’re feeling guilty about holding out.
- You’re doing it to get over an ex.
- You’re doing it to keep the guy from shagging someone else.
- You’re doing it to make him stick around. Because it’s the obvious next step.
- Two Voices Count: He should get a say, they shouldn’t.
Time to Communicate
Ah. The first step toward the most vital part of a successful relationship: communication. Communication consists of many layers. Some couples need to sit down over a cup of coffee to discuss— i.e. let’s wait a month—while others give each other a wink over dinner and end up on top of each other a few hours later.
If one of you has strict rules, like waiting until the third date to bone, then the other should know about it. Like I always say: cards out where everyone can see ‘em.
Don’t just assume he wants to sleep with you right away, either. You will quickly learn that assumptions are the quickest way to the one step forward, two step back mentality. Bottom line: if you know or sense that you’re not on the same page, talk about it. If you’re ready and are too much of a coward to ask your someone new, make a move and wait to see if you get rejected—fail-proof.
And don’t ask your friends. Slutty Betty will tell you to shag after the handshake—no details needed—and Prude Sally might tell you to wait until after saying I do—no details needed.