Every November families gather around their extended dinner tables to dig into copious amounts of food, engage in good conversation and plop down for some serious football. It’s supposed to be a time for reflection and love, a time when we can look across the table and smile at another successful year passed. We eat too much food, drink too much wine and inevitably a small family feud breaks out and the feast ends. In theory, Thanksgiving is one of the less stressful holidays, we don’t have gifts to give or dress codes to worry about. It’s really nothing more than a transitional holiday, that time between Halloween and Christmas when we’re just waiting. Perhaps that’s why Thanksgiving annoys me so much.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful for my family, the food and the time off work but if I could choose to opt out of the whole 7-hour dinner, I would. You see it’s not so much the holiday I hate but the overall indulgence and gluttony associated with it. The minute the last Halloween candy wrapper is tossed in the trash the Thanksgiving whirlwind begins. Things have gotten so out of hand that a once peaceful meal has turned into a dog and pony show of epic proportions. Here are the top 5 reasons why I hate Thanksgiving.
5 Reasons I Hate Thanksgiving
As soon as the clock ticks to midnight on October 31st the smell of pumpkin is everywhere. No, I’m not just talking about left over Jack-o-Lanterns. Every single store, coffee shop and restaurant are pushing their pumpkin pie flavored confection. I get it, pumpkin pie is a tasty treat but when did pumpkin flavored ice cream, donuts, M&M’s, Pringles, candles, and lotion become necessary? Are we trying to become pumpkins? Everyone should be allowed one slice of pumpkin pie during Thanksgiving and the assault on our nostrils should be limited to coffee shops.
Welcome Back to the 50s
Thanksgiving Day is like stepping into a time machine where we all float back to the 1950’s. It’s the only day of the year when it’s perfectly acceptable to see women frantically racing around the kitchen for hours. Women spend the entire day in the kitchen, prepping for hours, cooking for hours and cleaning for hours. On a day that we’re all supposed to be thankful wouldn’t the greatest way to show thanks be to get off your ass and help? I hate the way men get a free pass to sit around and watch football all day, only getting up to eat and then resume residency on the couch. Gentlemen, this year break the stereotype and start stuffing that turkey.
Stuff your Face, Empty your Wallet
The day after Thanksgiving is practically a holiday on its own, put your knives and forks down people, I’m talking about Black Friday. I understand the love of saving, times are tight right now, but I can’t stand the idea of Black Friday shopping. It’s become such a huge event that tactical assaults and blueprints of the stores layout can be seen as soon as dinner is cleared. Every year there’s a story on the news about someone being trampled or arrested due to the crazed Black Friday deals. Hordes of people waiting anxiously outside the store doors, camping out at 5 am to be the first in line, grabbing everything in sight, there’s just no amount of money that’s worth missing precious sleep and relaxation.